What is Gabriella Cilmi?
1.
Soon to become another byword for "music business exploiting teens and forcing them to grow up way, way too fast", along with the sordid "Jojos" and "Joss Stones" of this world.
For example, her initial song "Sweet About Me" proclaims, in fact, that there is "Nothin' sweet about me", but the video proves otherwise. The 16 year old Gabriella is seen prancing around in an alluring black vest, truly betraying her age with tits, eyes and lips which would put any Lolita to shame, demonstrating quite the contrary: There is plenty sweet about her, and not much of it necessary legal.
Similarly, the rest of her debut album is largely cock-tease, with most of the songs either about men, being fucked, being "terrifying to men" (even though most 16-year old females would admit to being the contrary), and peppered by law-busting titles like "Cigarettes and Lies", even though young Gabriella herself is disallowed from buying butts in most countries around the world.
Guy 1: Oh look, there's Gabriella Cilmi banging on about how there's nothing sweet about her, even though every straight bloke on the planet would happily bang their semen into her sweet
jailbait ass.
Guy 2: Hell yeah. I wish she'd put the microphone down and do porn instead. She ain't Amy Winehouse.
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2.
An underage beauty of singing who needs to hurry up and turn 18 so males can lust after her sick magic body without feeling like a pedophile.
Oh my goodness gracious! Gabriella Cilmi is hotter than Sarah Palin! I want to seduce her, but then i would go to prison.
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