Gebruchet

What is Gebruchet?


1.

Weapon of war capable of hurling payloads of up to 250 pounds more than 300 yards. Gerbil-powered.

In most instances, prime-of-life gerbils are employed for the winding of a gebruchet, through various incentives (food or other, desirable gerbils).

Controversially, negative incentives such as cats or spinning blades are often used in Darwinistic efforts to ensure that only those gerbils of suitable physical capabilities remain in circulation.

Gerbils considered fit but in their twilight years are typically utilised as breeding stock and, ultimately, ammunition.

Although sometimes disputed amongst historians, the decisive factor of Henry V's successful drive ino France during the Hundred Years' War is commonly considered to be when the English, running short on both the manpower and ammunition required to operate their siege engines, turned to their diminutive but energetic camp pets.

It was the French, however, who pioneered the use of plague-ridden gerbil corpses as a deadly payload in their gebruchets, and in adopting and adapting the tactics of their invaders, drove them back from their shores.

See gerbils, catapult, trebuchet, darwin, siege


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