What is Giesch?
1.
A form of abortion in which the baby's head is placed in between the doctor's ankles and claves and its neck is snapped in a 180 degree spin across the x-axis. Giesching is the second most humane form of abortion next to incineration of the child. This is because giesching is not 100% effective like incineration. It does, however, provide a fuel-efficient means of disposing of the baby's corpse, since a giesh (giesched child) can be thrown into a kiln and made into fuel. The minimum gieshing age as stated by the 28th amendment to the US Constitution is 6 years. The chances of a mis-giesch (unproper gieshing) go up dramatically after 6. In the event of a mis-giesch, the person giesched cannot be re-giesched until the age of 30-50. Causes of a mis-giesch include: snapping the neck to less than 180 degrees, gieshing outside the age limit, snapping the neck in the y or z axis, etc. A mis-giesh is commonly identified by stretch marks on the sternocleidomastoid. Victims of a mis-giesh commonly spend the first several years of their life in a Gieshing Rehabilitation Institute.
Tommy is the epitome of successful geishing; he was gieshed at exactly 180 degrees in the x-axis and thrown into my kiln.
2.
The act of giesching is a time honored tradition and should only be conducted by specialists. Dr. Ryan Hedden and Proffesor Brian Cronin are both some of the most experienced gieschers and have written many books on the subject. Giesch Awareness Day will be held to raise money for people who have been mis-giesched for counseling. It will also be held to aware people of the practice. Giesching seminars will be held at Laguna Beach High School.
Hoorah! Tomorrow is national Giesch Awareness Day and I am really excited, I just can't wait.
