What is Girlcow?
1.
The inevitability of the woman you marry gaining 50 lbs and becoming (like Jessica Simpson) only a fleeting memory of her best days.
"Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?"
"I do....hey! Wait a minute...What the hell?"
Buttons fly off the wedding dress as the bridegroom finds himself standing in front of a girlcow. This is not the woman he married just a second ago, but a much heavier, porkier version. She had been waiting the whole time to assume her natural form. Once she stopped holding it in, she let it out. She will never look like she once did ever again, especially if she's happy in her marriage.
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