What is God?
1.
A guy who talked to some Jewish guys, some Christian guys, and some Islam guys, and accidentaly caused more people to die than anyone else in human history.
And people wonder why he doesn't talk much to us anymore.
2.
The reason I passed math.
Bless the lord! For I got a 65!
3.
The universal scapegoat for forces yet to be explained, originating back to when man thought the wind was Satan farting.
Uuhhhmmmm... God did it?
4.
The main character in the fiction work "The Bible."
And God replied: I am Who Am.
And Moses quickly corrected him saying that it should be I am Who Is. But God never was any good at grammar.
5.
the most popular star in human history. loved, hated, or talked about by almost every person ever walked on earth.
theist: 'i love god, i think he's cool.'
atheist: 'god is a ridiculous idea, he doesn't even really exist.'
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6.
Large angry fairy-pixie in the sky. Refuses to show any evidence of his existence but will sentence you to an eternity of pain and burning if you do not accept it.
Abe was a good man, but he used God's name in vain, so he burned forever and ever.
7.
God, the omniscient, primordial and eternal who created man in his own image and therefore posseses a digestive system, sense organs, limbs and other attributes that would be useless to an immortal being. If God came first, what would he eat or walk upon? Why would he have those five senses if nothing to sense yet existed? And if he has 'always' been here, how long did he sit around doing nothing until he decided to invent the Universe? And why? And if he hadn't yet invented the universe, what exactly was he sitting on? Where is he going to exist if there is nothing to exist in? And what is wrong with the idea that we all just expire and disintegrate and rot?
God help us.
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