What is Gongzalo?
1.
A pale male of the pig descent. He eats PILIPINO! (urge of every word) food everyday, three times a day. He has SBL... and I mean SALTY. BROWN. LIPS. You know what I'm saying? With the little green Pilipino juice squirting out at your face! And the when he laughs. OMG. His laugh makes you so constipated.
OKAY SO. Here is Gongzalo's process of constipation presentation elimation:
First, he starts by sitting on a chair with AT LEAST 2 chairs next to the chair. Then he puts his arm around the left chair and spreads his legs apart. *Warning* His legs MUST be exactly at a 90 degree angle. Next, he starts shaking his legs like he's going to pangpwee really hard like POOT! This is already making me want to go pyak sy. After that, Gongzalo starts rubbing his big fat bulging stomach. Then, he starts going "ahh" like in Don't Cha(this is his all-time favorite song). He also squeezes his lips together at the same time. Worst part of the process-- He laughs and you can not see his eyes because they are covered by his face fats(by the way, he does not have a chin). And then. DUN DUN DUN!.......
POOOOOOOOOOOOOT!
He power-pangpwees. wait wait.
He's not done. UH OH! Hak-cheh!!!
HURRY! RUN FAT BOY, RUN! I DON'T THINK HE WILL MAKE IT ON TIME. HIS STOMACH IS MAKING LAOSY NOISES.
HE RUNS INTO THE HAK-CHEH AND PYAKS ALL OVER THE TOILET.
Gongzalo wears his scrubs 24/7. He and Lolet have secret parades in "Lolet's Hideout" with long nightgowns. They do tribal dances with scrubs and nightgowns and eat greasy Pilipino Pood!
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