What is Gordons-border?
1.
A unit of measurement defining the distance between the legs of a person suffering from Newtons-Berkineau disorder, an affectation of the ambulant limbs. Derived from the middle-english 'Gordynnes-border' the distance maintained between a healthy human being and a leprous dog-fiend under manorial-law.
"Shirley must be a good Gordons-border from Darren and she's still flashing her bacon rolls, the filthy trollop"
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1.
To "shine an imaginary apple" is to be pleased with oneself.
Person 1 "Someones happy"
Person 2 "How can you ..
