What is Granola?
1.
An adjective used to describe people who are environmentally aware (flower child, tree-hugger), open-minded, left-winged, socially aware and active, queer or queer-positive, anti-oppressive/discriminatory (racial, sexual, gender, class, age, etc.) with an organic and natural emphasis on living, who will usually refrain from consuming or using anything containing animals and animal by-products (for health and/or environmental reasons), as well as limit consumption of what he or she does consume, as granola people are usually concerned about wasting resources. Usually buy only fair-trade goods and refrain from buying from large corporations, as most exploit the environment as well as their workers, which goes against granola core values. The choice of not removing body hair (see
Jack: My best friend is vegan and only buys produce that is organically grown from local farmers. Her and her feminist, vegan boyfriend are both in Greenpeace and advocate for queer rights. She waxes her legs but she's still granola.
Jill: So that means she's not a dyke? And she grows her own reefer?
Jack: Just because she's granola, doesn't mean she does drugs. Also, granola status has nothing to do with sexual preference.
Jill: Well maybe she'll know where to buy hemp and how to tie-dye?
Jack: She's granola, not a hippy. Some granola people are hippy and vice-versa, but they're not the same thing.
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2.
A person who dresses like a hippy, eats natural foods (granola), and is usually a Liberal, but in all other ways is a typical middle class white person, and is likely to revert back to being straight when they finish college.
Did you see that granola chick at the farmer's market buying bean sprouts?
Yeah, her new Volvo was parked next to me.
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3.
A tree hugging, free spirited hippie minus all the drugs.
Melissa is a granola.
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4.
earthy, hippie-ish
That chick doesn't shave her armpits; she's hella granola.
5.
A middle age/late age suburbian white man or woman who is usually middle class that values natural things. Granola people, dispite common belief are NOT hippies and have normal houses and familys. They are extremely Left. A Granola person can usually be found in nature or at L.L. Bean.
A Granola Person usually drives a Subaru Outback, Volvo Wagon, or a Honda Element all with Thule roof racks for their skis, bikes, or kayaks.
My Mother, who is very granola.
me:"Ma, can i borrow the subaru to go to my friends?"
Mom:"yeah, but be home by 6. I'm making seaweed raviolis...oh yeah, i left my skis in the car, can you bring them in when you come back?"
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6.
An adjective also used to describe people would often do NOT vaccinate themselves or their children. Granola women often home birth and sometimes home school their children.
1. The granola family did not inject poisons into their children, thus protecting them from autism and other mental illnesses bought on by vaccines.
2. That crunchy granola didn't get the flu shot and never got sick. I got the vaccine and got the flu a week later!
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7.
Usually found in the northern Rocky Mountains of the continental United States. Often mistakenly linked with hippies, however have no over-arching motivations for societal progress. Instead are focused solely on spending the majority of their time engaging in outdoor recreational pursuits. Despite never having held a full-time job, granolas usually manage to purchase several thousand dollars worth of over-priced outdoors equipment (i.e. skis, kayaks, rock climbing gear) which they strap to their over-burdened 1995 Subaru Legacy station wagons. When not actively outdoors, granolas can be found together in small to medium sized packs smoking marijuana, listening to the String Cheese Incident and Jack Johnson, and watching Warren Miller videos.
90% of the "locals" found in Jackson, Wyoming are granolas.
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