What is Groton?
1.
"Groton" refers to a number of small towns in the New England area, but more importantly, it's best known association is with the Groton School of Groton, MA.
Groton School is an elite institution that everyone that currently goes to Andover, Exeter, St. Paul's, and etc. got rejected from. Its small class size and world-renown teachers afford Grotonians with an unparalleled education, preparing them for the "active work of life," defined as making billions of dollars, running the US government, or simply being "sick at life."
Because Groton is an exceptional institution, there are numerous schools that attempt to mimic Groton's stature. For example, Middlesex, upon seeing the greatness of Groton's circle, also based their campus around a circular common-green. However, Middlesex's circle has various paths running across it, making it ugly.
Groton's rival is St. Mark's School (SMS), but since SMS was ranked at the very bottom of every list comparing private schools in New England, it's not really fair to make these two disparate schools rivals. The only thing that keeps these two schools as rivals is the fact that St. Mark's students are neanderthals and thus good at traditionally brutish sports like football and hockey, but as witnessed by last year's St. Mark's/Groton Day, Groton pounded St. Mark's in the ass, also known as the football gridiron. Either way, whatever athletic ability St. Mark's School has pales in comparison with Groton's stellar SAT scores.
Groton has many distinct tradtiions. For example, feeds are provided by faculty members to Groton students as a form of snack or meal, depending on the group size; it is not a synonym for lunch/dinner as Boston Magazine erroneously claims.
Some synonyms for Groton include: sick-nasty, exceptional, one of a kind, etc.
"Dude, did you get into Groton?"
"Nah, I'm too stupid, that's why I'm here at Middlesex"
"Hey, how many people from our school got into Harvard, Yale, and Princeton?"
"No idea, but probably a lot fewer than Groton..." - A conversation between two Andover students.
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2.
Another boring town west of Boston. Features the lowest level of minorities in the state, and the highest level of white people who think they're black. Most boring possible place to live besides Dunstable, which is slightly more boring. Home to the Groton School, but most people in Groton are too dumb and therefore go to Groton-Dunstable Regional.
Groton: Just another bullshit town.
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3.
Groton MAssachusetts is some small bootleg town where everyone except me is rich and white. everyone drives their parents car or worse they got their own fucking brand new ride. and theres never anything to do but get fucked up
<LEFTY> fuck groton!!
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4.
Home of the worlds best submarine base, 50 years ago. Now it's just a submarine base.
shipmate1: I want to get orders to Hawii.
shipmate2: I want orders in Groton.
Shipmate1: What's her name and how long have you known her?
5.
While also being a place, Groton is mostly used in context to reference the Groton school. Filled with idiots, the Groton School is hated by all except those who go there. Other schools hate it because all the people who go there think they're amazing, and the locals hate it because it sucks in every way imaginable. Groton is especially know for having really arrogant students who think that being rich is the same as being smart. Groton accepts any retard who lies on their application, believing that lies are better than the truth. Cheating is accepted at Groton, as thats how most people at Groton will live their lives in the future; by cheating off of other people's hard work. It is also common knowledge that kids who attend Groton enjoy sticking broomsticks up each other's asses for fun. Stupid, Spoiled, and Ugly Whores are also a common sight at Groton. But then again what would you expect from a school with a fuckin zebra for a mascot.
Hey, do you go to Groton?
No, I actually have friends 'cause I'm not a spoiled little bitch.
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6.
a school where they have fun shoving broomsticks up each other's asses
groton kids enjoy sodomy
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