What is Hagen?
1.
“Hagen” is derived from the word “Hag.” A “Hagen” is a member of substantial subset of the female population. They are middle aged, almost morbidly overweight, with short hair, dyed black or very dark brown. Members are strikingly similar in appearance. It’s only upon close examination that they can be differentiated. Hagens are often caregivers, such as nurses or teachers. A typical Hagen would be 5’4”, 240 lbs, and 54 years old.
Almost universally, they claim to “like themselves” in spite of obvious indications of low self-esteem.
"Wow, there were like five Hagens lined up at the counter wating for free ice cream."
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2.
A legendary
"Did you hear about Hagen the other night? He was arrested for sodomizing an underage vagrant hippie behind Sonic in Buena Park. Yeah, they busted him for having a mini-pharmacy taped to his crotch as well."
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3.
"A girl who licks random guys faces."
"And who rides trains often!"
"Hey you just got a hagen buy a Salmon!"
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