What is Hair Metal?
1.
A form of 80's teenybopper music made primarily by effeminate men wearing makeup and dressed like women, with stereotypical 80's big hair. After an initial wave of it fizzled out in 1987, it resurfaced just a couple of years later with a short-lived new breed of even lamer bands. Success in hair metal was primarily achieved through placing primary importance on the ability to pose for the camera, and comprising your band with simpletons with little or no musical ability, much less creativity. Once the formula was in place, it was just a matter of finding gullible losers to buy into the swindle. MTV, which started out as a music television channel, obliged, making this subgenre of wimp rock popular at the time. Perhaps the most enjoyable aspect of hair metal was it's juvenile lyrics. Never intentionally bad, the lyrical wasteland was a direct result of the limited intellectual capacities of the band members.
Hair metal was made popular by bands like Poison, Warrant, Winger, Slaughter, White Lion, Trixter, Skid Row, Motley Crue, Kix, and the Bulletboys.
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2.
Gay,horrible music.
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The only redeeming thing about it was the guitar solo because that's when the terrible singing stopped for a little while.
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Started in LA by men with mullets who were only in it for the groupies,alcohol,meth and cocaine.
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The men were all cross-dressers and resembled and took on the characteristics of their groupies to the point where other bands who were looking for groupies to fuck often mistook a band of hair metallers for a sixpack of groupie whores.
Beavis: whoa these chicks are hot
Butthead: are these chicks or dudes?
Beavis: whoa,I don't know
Butthead: well they better be chicks dammit because they're giving me a woody
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Example doesn't use the word hair metal. Use the word in a sentence.
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3.
Music made by and for the hypocritical , full-of-shit , "happy-go-lucky" selfish assholes that modern society breeds. Isn't it funny how the majority of everyone of Hair-"Metal"'s supporters here could not go about defining it without making some sort of crude comment regarding grunge ? This "music" is what often gives "metal" a bad name making people associate it with "badassery" , being total assholes, caring only for themselves and their family/friends (which in my opinion is no different than caring for oneself),those who are violent for boastful intents, and sheer idiocy. This music truly is all about the beer/action/bitches regardless of whether that is the stereotype applied to it. It gives bad names to Thrash metal , and generally listeners of this genre brand other subcategories of metal such as Death "psychotic" , "twisted and sadistic" or something of that nature , when they cannot see that their own lifestyles based solely on greed and personal acquisition/gain are a twisted form of apathetic...bitchiness. Those who "live" by the hair metal code can go fuck their ego-inflated avarice-ridden bloated asses on a plate of scorching coals.
Hair Metal guy:Hey punk, what you tryin to pull with my woman ?
Person who bumped into girl on accident: Sorry, It was an accident =/.
Hair Metal guy: You layin your hand on my woman ! I'm gonna kick your ass !!!
Person : Dude it was an accident...sorry.
Hair Metal guy : (starts beating on person for no apparent reason)
Karma : * Hair metal jerkoff is engulfed in flames and slowly and painfully burns to death while razor-sharp rapiers slowly tear through his weak flesh as a gigantic hand crushes his thick skull*
Person: haha , fucker.
Karma : ^_^. Kthxbai.
4.
The worst "music" ever created. Loved by wannabe badasses, groupies, fashion queers, frat boys, pop culture whores, corporate fucks and other lame deluded morons with no sense of musical talent. People associated with Hair Metal love to blame it's demise on Alternative Rock music(also known as REAL rock music, for you dumbasses.) But in reality, hair metal demised because people were sick of how artificial it was. It was pop based metal, for fucks sake. It wasn't killed by the rise of grunge. It wasn't even killed by thrash metal. How was it killed? People just got sick of the same shit that Hair Metal spewed out. Cheesy love songs made no other than to sellout and get into women's pants. Seriously, you all make me sick. Atleast Alternative Rock's lyrics actually have meaning.
Here is proof Hair Metal sucks and has no meaningful lyrics:
For Hair Metal, we have Warrant's lyrics to "Cherry Pie". Lets see how "meaningful" their lyrics are compared to Alternative Rock:
"She's my cherry pie
Cool drink of water
Such a sweet surprise
Tastes so good
Make a grown man cry
Sweet Cherry Pie
Yeah"
Now for Alternative, we have Alice in Chains' lyrics to "Sunshine". Lets see how meaningful their lyrics are compared to Hair Metal:
"Sunshine...sweet love my labor
Don't mind...I don't care no more
Memory, set me free, yeah
I don't care no more
Mother please, come for me
Can you face the question?
Is my soul entire?
Sunshine...sweet love my labor
Don't mind...I don't care no more"
Which lyrics have more meaning? It should be obvious that Alice in Chains' lyrics are more meaningful and kill Warrant's.
Now, let's have another test to let me confirmed that hair metal is artificial.
This is Motley Crue's "Girls Girls Girls" lets see how "meaningful" the lyrics are:
"Girls, Girls, Girls
At the Dollhouse in Ft. Lauderdale
Girls, Girls. Girls
Rocking in Atlanta at Tattletails
Girls, Girls, Girls
Raising Hell at the 7th Veil Have you read the news
In the Soho Tribune
Ya know she did me
Well then she broke my heart"
Now we have Smashing Pumpkins' "Today", lets see how meaningful the lyrics are:
"Pink ribbon scars
That never forget
I've tried so hard
To cleanse these regrets
My angel wings
Were bruised and restrained
My belly stings"
Obviously "Today" takes the reward. Who in the hell finds "Girls, Girls, Girls" meaningful?? Hair Metal was crap, so move on.
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5.
The worst kind of music thought up by a human being. A disgrace to the word METAL.
Mike: I hate Hair Metal.
Bill: Yea, it sucks.
Mike: Lets go listen to some Iron Maiden.
Bill: Yea, good plan.
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6.
another terrible subgenre
can't tell one band from the next
they all sound exactly the same (LIKE SHIT)
The men in hair metal all looked like women.
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7.
Is a bunch of bullshit. Repetitive and watered down rock n' roll from the mid to late 80's.
Hair "metal" "musicians" consisted of young bratty slackers that dressed in drag and pitifully lacked in musical talent and creativity; these so called "musicians" really weren't musicians at all, rather they were not in it for the music; but for the money, women, drugs, rockstar image and fame that came along with it. In truth these slackers couldn't give two turds for the music they created, the only reason being these slackers joined rock bands was to follow the popular trend and become famous, sleeping there way to the top without any real effort.
see also:
Wouldn't it be funny? Like, wouldn't it be absolutely fucking hilarious, if like, some former famous Hair metalhead happend to stumble upon this website, look up "hair metal" and blush in embarrassment at all the definitions bashing hair metal, knowing that they were once a part of all that shit?
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