What is Hairemscarem?
1.
Wait until your friend passes out drunk, fill his hand with Krazy Glue, and throw a big bunch of hair into it that you collected from your barbershop floor and saved in a bag in your trunk for just such an occasion.
"My roommate in college used to masterbate constantly whenever I left the room. I taught him the meaning of 'common area'; I gave him the old hairemscarem."
See