What is Hallmark Keepsake Ornaments?
1.
Small plastic trinkets, generally made in China, that are sold nearly year-round in
Keepsake Ornaments are released every year in early July (at a sickening event known as "Ornament Premiere"), and remain up until well after Christmas. Hardcore collectors can start ordering them in early June, when the ornament catalogue (inappropriately titled the "Dreambook") becomes available in Hallmark stores. Sane people, of course, have learned to avoid the ornament premiere, thus sparing themselves from seeing the disturbing sight of a poor college student sweating in a Christmas sweater and passing out Christmas cookies when everyone else in the store is walking around in shorts and tank tops.
Customer one: "I've been waiting for the Hallmark Keepsake Ornaments to come out all year!"
Customer two: "Oh yeah? Which ones did you get?"
Customer one: "ALL OF THEM!!"
Customer two: "All of them?! How much did that cost you?!"
Customer one: "Only, like, $800. That's WAY less than last year!"
Customer two: *passes out*
See