What is Hans Moleman?
1.
A hapless character from the Simpsons, an old man who is perpetually getting killed or injured in nasty, tragic ways.
Phish: "Who here has medical marijuana?"
Hans: "I do..."
Phris: *reads prescription notes* "Whoa...you're really sick!"
Hans: "The doctors never told me that...I had to hear it from Phish."
2.
god of kickassedness
hans is in charge of everything that is cool and unshawish!!
3.
A large mole situated above the penile region that turns the female status away from the genitals, therefore receiving no oral pleasure ever in there lifetime.
Did u see that Josh Brown kid today, god he has a wopper of a hans moleman
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engaging in sexual intercourse with a penis comprable in size to a coke can
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