What is Harwood Union?
1.
A high school (the whitest) in central Vermont determined by the 2006 "No Child Left Behind Act" to be "In need of Improvement". Could this because Harwood has had 3 principals in the past 2 years? Or could it perhaps be because Harwood is rumored to be the birthplace and current breeding ground of our nation's supply of white trash? Should you be attending HUHS you will more than likely stumble upon our tobacco chewing, 1975 Chevy truck driving, sno' chine riding, knife carrying, Dale Earnhardt(Jr) loving,Carhartt wearing, Bud' drinking, deer/moose/duck/people hunting, wife beating, incestual Redneck population whose population outnumbers the amount of (crackwhores in the white trash) (incompetent teachers here
at harwood) (Cows in all of Vermont). If the first two hazards of attending Harwood haven't already sucked out any miniscule amount of educational potential you may have had before attending, the birkenstock wearing, pot smoking, Global warming worshipping, granola bar eating, Bob Marley loving, greasy haired hippie-stoners are sure to distract you just enough that you may not notice the amount of incompetent teachers with GEDs and High School Degrees teaching AP classes. Unless, of course, you belong to the ever prevalent band geek population whose collective ego surpasses that of Oprah (Neo-Jesus) and Kanye West COMBINED. Their ego however, is not the only large aspect of their otherwise socially-retarded lifestyle. Oh no, every school-wide assembly has AT LEAST 24.753 minutes of hardcore, Band/Jazz Band/Chorus performances through which the entire school body sitting in the audience looks to the ceiling cursing at god for not making him or her deaf. (hoping one of the abrnomally large bricks would fall and land square on his or her forehead). And just when you think you couldn't have a more disappointing and depressing day than you just had, you walk out to your car, or rather, you slalom your way and dodge your way through 3 lanes of teen driving in the snow at its best, bumper cars. Only to arrive at your snow covered car where you discover huge ass anarchist symbol painted on the side of your car, which you quickly realize could only be one of the three goths attending Harwood, whom post pictures of their obese selves with black hair, black eyeliner, black teeth, black hoodie, and black fishnet stocking ripping at the seems with the caption "I'm such a whore" on Myspace. In case that wasn't comprehensive enough, try ordering a sandwich in the lunch line. Should you not get reprimanded by one of the 5 white-haired, senile, and power hungry lunch ladies for pronouncing "lettuce" like "tomato", and also manage to type your lunch code in correctly within your first 7 tries I'm sure you'll discover either a long and curly pubic hair, dead fly, or denture adhesive waiting for you within your first bite. Perhaps you haven't heard, but HUHS is home to the Washington County KKK chapter of Vermont. With a 2004 census confirming 99.87% of students being caucasian and a WHOPPING .13% African American you might wonder for how much longer our .13% can stay alive out here in Cracker country. Some High Schools have celebrities pass through their doors, such as Tom Cruise, Keith Ledger, or even Madonna, well Harwood is no different. The most famous of our graduates murdered an employee of a local pizzeria with a high powered scoped rifle, while self-claiming he was under hallucinogenic mushrooms. But really, Harwood isn't that bad of a place to go to school for 4 years of your childhood, look on the bright side with 30% of graduates attending college, there isn't much competition for applying to college, or even
for valedictorian.
If you so much as breathe a bad word about sno-chinen at harwood union, and entire lunch table of white trash will be all over you like a red neck on his cousin
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