What is Hawick?
1.
A place below that of Hell, damnation or purgatory. The human mind cannot comprehend the atrocity of Hawick. Mythical legends claim that Neds, inbreeding and creatures called "rugby bufters" created this abomination. Other myths claim one named "The Cornet" rode into hawick on a horse and said "Safe Oot Safe In" and these words caused such a cataclysmic effect due their unbelievable meaninglessness and feelings of idiocy that the place became damned!
1. You're doomed if you go to Hawick
2. Hawick is horrific!
3. "A day out of Hawick is a day wasted" (local ironic joke)
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