What is Hedge Monkey?
1.
Wear home made clothes or ridiculous psychadelic tie die clothes, clothes of natural materials. They tend not to wash very often, hence they look like they have just slept in a hedge, or in fact live in hedges although we all know they really live in a squat with a peace symbol painted on the front door.
Somebody who tends to live the 'hippy' way of life to the extreme, they usually have white-boy dreads & take lots of 'earthy' drugs (weed/mushrooms/psychoactive plants etc & lsd), love travelling to festivals / acid techno squat parties in their 'freedom wagons' or VW camper vans, Beetle's or 20 year old decomissioned old service vans/trucks etc. Usually vegetarians and love going on protest marches/anti war/anti fox hunting marches etc.
Can be heavily into spirituality & regularly smell of josticks or special brew / cider. Sometimes mistaken for tramps.
"Last year at Glastonbury a hedge monkey was trying to sell me a 2nd class stamp saying that it was a giant tab of acid."
2.
Usually found at the free party, wearing either a dark hoody or some variation of hippy clothing made from 'hemp' or whatever. The Hedge monkey won't make any sense if spoken to, instead they will blurt out a mish-mash of random words all muddled together before laughting a little, pulling a rediculous contorted face, swaying a bit and taking a swig from the spliff in their left hand and trying to smoke the can of special brew in their right.
It is not uncommon to see crusty lumps of ketamine amalgomated with snot on the hedge monkeys nose.
A hedge monkeys hair is usually home to many animals and used as a home by local birds and cats.
Hedge monkeys have their own dance, a strange repetitive forward-backward motion, like you'd imagine an insane person to do. usually to psy-trance, techno, acid tecnho, gabba etc...
Are you coming to the free party to hedge it with us?
Look at that hedger, she's set her legs on fire with her poi-chains
The club had more hedge monkeys than all of Goa
