What is Hellboy?
1.
Originally a Darkhorse comic which debuted in '94, it was created by Mike Mignola, who based it upon a number of different things, but namely his father.
Mignola's dad was a normal, blue-collar guy who worked in a machine shop- every day he'd come home with lacerations and cuts on his arms, which would horrify/amaze Mike-
"Jeez Dad- what happened to your arms?!?!"
"Ahh I got 'em caught in a machine, couldn't pull 'em out untill Larry turned of the power."
(Mike faints.)
The comic 'Hellboy' is an amalganation of everything Mignola likes to draw and read- monsters, Lovecraftian literature, gothic/Victorian arcitecture and art, etc....
Hellboy himself was summoned here to Earth as a baby by the Nazis right before the war ended, to awaken the Ogdru-Jahad, seven monstrous entities bound in golden cocoons in the place between Earth and Heaven- the coldest region of space. However, the Allies interveened just in time, defeated the Nazis, and instead of killing Hellboy, raise him to be good- the Worlds Greatest Paranormal Investigator, as it was!
This was later adopted into a movie by Guillermo Del Toro, who also did Devil's Backbone and Cronos- he loved the comics (this is why it turned out so good) but changed many things to add himself to the project, giving him a love interest and downplaying Rasputin, the Villain a bit.
But the movie was still beautiful, and a sequel is coming in 2006- which will be much better, in the same way X-Men 2 was better than XM1- the first got the character developement out of the way. Del Toro will now have his gloves off with this one- it looks very promising.
The reason why Hellboy is so great is that he was created just for releasing the Ogdru Jahad- it is his purpose, his reason to be, his destiny- but no matter what happens and how he is tempted or how the odds seem against him, he always chooses not to lose himself, and to save the Earth- showing us that we are not pre-determined to live our destiny.
Hellboy, after strapping a bomb to himself, allowing himself to be eaten by a many-armed behemoth, blowing it up from the inside and landing on his back:
(getting up)
"I'm gonna be sore in the morning."
(as if it was nothing!)
2.
see
"Aw Crap,"- Hellboy.
3.
Anal intercourse using Icy-Hot as lubrication.
"Man, I sure gave her a Hellboy last night!"
See
4.
See
Dude, I hear that Hellboy gained seventy pounds in one month.
That's not surprising.
See
5.
A girl that kicks so much ass she needn't be called anything but Hellboy.
Hellraiser.
Picture a guy named "Hellboy", That's what he looks like.
Oh Hellboy!
Hey Hellboy, nice bewbs.
See
6.
(N.)A confusing ass movie, loosely based on the cult comic book for nerds everywhere of the same name, it pretty musch goes like this:
Nazis at the end of WWII decide to conjure up supernatural forces in order to try and win the war and open up a gateway into space where this demon of the apocolypse is at, and the US military shuts down their evil plans, but not before a baby demon slips through the portal. The US military adopts the demon and name him Hellboy.
Hellboy grows up to be a superhero for the government along with some Psychic Sea Monster thing named Abe Sapien (because he was found the day Abe Lincoln was assainiated) and they together fight monsters and stuff. A Third hero, who's a firestarter named Liz comes in, but can't control her fire powers and usually ends up blowing up everything.
The evil nazis come back 60 years later from WWII and try and conjure up the apocolypse god demon that will destroy the Earth, but need Hellboy this time to open the gate. So while they get ready, the preoccupy the government freaks with a bunch of monster demons that are hard to kill and can rapidly lay eggs. For a good 1/3rd of the movie, Hellboy and his teammates try and stop the monsters from destroying the city and laying more eggs.
The good guys eventually come back to the Nazi mansion from WWII in order to kill the rest of the monster demons, and their eggs, that the supernatural Nazimen have set up for them. Thet all explore the mansion, but get spli up and each run into trouble. After taking out a whole nest of eggs, they're left weak from the ordeal and captured by the Nazis who hold Liz ransom in exchange for Hellboy opening the gates to the apocolypse.
Hellboy, who develops a romantic relationship with her throughout the movie, decides to at first open the gates, and then not at the last moment. He does open them enough thouh, to get the nazis killed by demons. Hellboy manages to save Liz and the two at the end, literallly make some hot, freak lovin'.
I just told you the whole movie. Now, you don't have to waste your $9 seeing it. It'll just confuse you, like it did me. Unless you're a supergeek, who reads Hellboy comics.
