Hoff

What is Hoff?


1.

Verb, pertaining to David Hasselhoff.

To be Hoffed – to be sent homoerotic images of David Hasselhoff in questionable outfits/poses with various props/animals. Considered an extreme insult, the most common form of Hoffing is done through electronic mail although various new and inventive methods have recently been discovered. The first ever hoffing is said to have taken place in 1997 in the town of Heidelberg in Germany where David Hasselhoff is an extremely popular singer. According to urban legend, a young male high school student sent the David Hasselhoff calendar (if you have never seen this consider yourself lucky) to a girl he had a crush on in an attempt to woo her. The attempt backfired when the horrified girl choked on a chicken sandwich which she was eating whilst opening the calendar. The act of Hoffing has since spread from smalltown Germany to the mainstream claiming thousands of victims. Although not usually resulting in loss of life, a Hoffing can lead to severe psychological trauma, temporary loss of motor function and 9 times out of 10 it will affect the Hoffee’s up-chuck mechanism.

Oh, sweet mother of Jesus, FUCKK!!!!! I’ve been Hoffed again! I’ll never open my email again.

That guy is such a butt-fucking loser! I’m gonna send him a Hoffing he will never forget!

See Ana

2.

noun, pertaining to David Hasselhoff

Common usage "The Hoff", implying that he is the original Hoff to which all other usages are derived.

Not contrained by his hit TV shows "Nightrider" and "Baywatch" or an obvious lack of acting, singing and modelling talent, The Hoff has become a post 80's email hit.

Clearly the act of "Hoffing" (see further definitions of hoff) has escalated in recent times. The quick and efficient medium of email has made this crime against humanity too easy and the Victims of Hoff & Hoff Related Emails Crime Unit (VOHHRECU) has seen a dramatic rise in Hoff related violence, psychosis, and even suicide.

Hoff related emails have also been on the increase. The Hoff's arch nemesis McGyverhas started an emailing war, apparently enraged at The Hoff's born-again stardom. Other 80's B-grade celebrities also involved in the "coalition of The Hoff" in this war include Magnum P.I., Mr T, William Shatnerand even the enigmatic Ingelbert Humperdink.

The whole concept of The Hoff is currently subject to parlimentary review and legislation is being considered to curb the disturbing trend of Hoffing.

In loser speak: "The Hoff is cool"

In teenage girl loser denial: "I love The Hoff and when I grow up, I'm going to marry him!"

In general terms: "Man, The Hoff is such a fag"

In Hoff related violent state: "Stop f*cking sending me f*cking Hoff emails. If you do it again I'm gonna cut rip your eyes out so I can make you watch as an overweight albino mountain gorilla soddomise your mum's still warm and twitching corpse!!!"

3.

Used to describe a large amount of body hair.

Wow! Look at the Hoff of chest hair on him!

See hoff, hof, hasslehoff, hair, medallion

4.

<v>

To eat really messy food on the floor, while EXTREMELY intoxicated, incoherent and preferably topless (a la David Hasselhoff).

"Look at Billy... he can hardly stand, but he's hoffin' that burger like a champ."

"I'd probably feel pretty sick today, if I hadn't hoffed that pizza last night"

Annie: Why is there food all over my floor?

Tim: Cuz Sarah got shitrocked and hoffed a sandwich last night.

See eat, devour, prey

5.

General term of afeection used to describe the Hoff, aka David Hasslehoff.

Can also be used as a term of enderment for a close friend or companion

Hey, Hoff!!!

You, your such a Hoff.

Wow... Look! The Hoff!

Your hairy chest reminds me of the Hoff.

See hip, cool, baywatch, kitt, Ibbo

6.

1. Potential nickname for individual other than David Hasselhoff. Ex. Hoffman, Worsenhoff, Hoffstein.

2. Individual feeling strong connection to David Hasselhoff due to similiar nickname; major fan of David Hasselhoff. Individual may wear "Hoff" sloganed T-shirts. Very enthusiastic partier; veiwed as life of the party. Refusing to be called by birth name with predominent ginger traits.

3. Hoff nicknamed individual; tends to label ownership of food dishes with "Hoff". Ex. "Beef Strogenhoff"

"Hoff just got here, now its a party!"

"Hey Hoff, there's a ginger over there like you!"

"Your Beef Strogenhoff is fantastic."

"Don't Hassle the Hoff."

See hasselhoff, ginger, belmar, long island

7.

(vb) a: to waylay a person's inbox with a jpg, bmp, png, or gif image of David Hasselhoff b: to have your inbox waylaid with a jpg, bmp, png, or gif image of David Hasselhoff - usu. used with "up" when multiple images have been perpetrated <my yahoo account got pretty damn ~ed up>

1.(vt) Hey Brad, did you just Hoff Deborah down in HR?

2.(vt) Stu Hoffed Sally, Milo, Iris, and Raz on his cell!

3.(vi) Consider yourself Hoffed!

4.(vi) Oh drat, it seems I've just been Hoffed!

See hasselhoff, hasselhoffed, hasselhoffing, hasselhoffowned


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