What is Hollins?
1.
Hollins
All women's university in Southwestern, Virginia that boasts an impeccable creative writing program, the hottest equestrian school in the country, and even hotter girls. They don't call them "Hotlins" girls for nothing, these girls know how to pretty it up on the weekends, usually spent at all-male Hampden-Sydney College in Farmville, Virginia. If they aren't working on that thesis or hiking up Tinker Mountain for the legendary "Tinker Day" celebration, these girls can most likely be found "chuggin a beer like a Hollins girl can" at their weekly apartment parties on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Many of the girls like to use the Sydney boys' popular phrase "Longwood for head, Sweetbriar to bed, Hollins to wed" to describe how their beloved green and gold tops the rest.
Every girl can quote the Preppy Handbook's description of their "party-hearty" selves: "These gals marry well"
HSC boy: Hey beautiful, wanna stay with me tonight?
Hollins girl: I really shouldn't, but...
2.
Hollins University, though situated in backwoods of no mans land VA, is a haven for higherlearning, expression, and crazy ass fun. The obnoxious colors of Lily Pulitzer can sometimes shine a little too bright on campus,the pearls tend to outweigh their owners and Vera Bradley diaper-esque bags are sadly considered fashionable. on the other hand, unshaven treehuggers who are angry at the world and their middle class parents who were probably just a little too overprotective, seem to make themselves a tad too comfortable in the grass of front quad. Yet these groups , while vocal and intent on making their presence known are actually a minority. Between the mindless Southern belles who frequent HSC and the free love enthusiasts is a student body that is rather enjoyable, intelligent and that manages to have a little fun (despite the unfortunate location and local inhabitants). Cheers to our amazing faculty, but boo to the Hollins bureaucracy.
PEARL: I JUST GOT A NEW VERA BRADLEY BED SPREAD!
treehugger: eat shit
Why cant we all just get along?
3.
Hollins University is a school situated in the south west of the commonwealth of Virginia. While attracting some of the preppiest girls Hollins is more of a Bohemian atmosphere than typical classic preppy college. It attracts a wide variety of students and appeals to many different tastes. There are the girls who think of Hollins as the finishing school it once was, the writers who pass notes in workshop regarding a certain professors testicular region, the riders, the NEFA artsy alcoholics, the BSA, and the lesbians.
The Hollins riders are found in jeans, paddock boots, a belt with their name on the back, a polo shirt, pearls, a ribbon in their hair, and they wear their chaps to class. They spend their time talking about “Uncle Sandy” the friendly male head coach. They have the “horsie voice” in which they talk to the horses in and eachother (somewhat resembles a baby voice on crack). And everything is either “One”, “Brown”, or “Animal”.
To this day the infamous Richard Dillard is still known to have affairs with his students (Annie Dillard’s ex-husband).
When Friday comes around these girls pack up and get the he11 out of their! Whether it’s the lesbians that go downtown to the park, the Hampden-Sydney groupies where the girls surround themselves with boys in pastel polos with shaggy hair, khakis, rainbow sandals, and a beer can genetically attached to their hands. It is the college version of the prep-school mixer and tends to become tedious and boring after 3 years of weekly commutes. The W & L and VMI followers tend to like the more studious or structure atmosphere. The VA Tech/UVA fans enjoy the huge variety of men. No matter where the girls head come Friday their Vera Bradley duffle bags are packed, their coach purse hangs on their arms, their mini-skirt is on, and they hit the road. During the week they frequent such schools as Radford and Roanoke College. Upon graduating from Hollins one begins to think of a 3 hour drive as just around the corner. The twice weekly apartment parties draw in male visitors who after spending the night in a girls room will most likely be displayed at breakfast the next morning (even if neither eats breakfast).
The Preppy Handbook said it perfectly when they described the Hollins girl as having “lovely hair, love handles, cigarette pack, lighter, and lit cigarette… while all girls schools are notoriously wild the true party hearty girl attends Hollins... these girls marry well!” Unlike northern schools that attract preppy girls those at Hollins don’t dress in crazy “hip designer shirts” to go out at night. Instead they sport their cable-knit sweaters, pearls, and cute shoes. Classic.
Hollins girl: Can your girlfriend ride like this?
Hollins girl: Sticks and stones may break my bones but whips and spurs excite me!
Hollins girl: I really shouldn't, but..."
4.
A small, private University in Roanoke, VA (all-women). Here you must either wear LaCoste/Polo/Lilly Pulitzer and pearls or be a lesbian/bi-sexual. Those wearing the expensive clothes and pearls frequent Hampden-Sydney and make sex with the horny boys there.
Hollins girls are way cooler than those Sweetbriar and Longwood skanks.
5.
A school in southern VA that draws you in with a beautiful campus and outstanding academics...what they don't tell you is that 60% of the entire school population is lesbian/bisexual. I'm sorry but when girls just walk up to you and ask you if you're gay or not, just looking for a good piece of ass, that's messed up. And don't even get me started on: the NEFA stoners and drunks, the HSC screwing pearl girls, the dirty hippies (not to mention all the posers walking around), pretentious artists, stuck up writers, pseudo intellectuals, flaky, spastic, emotinally inept dancers, the nondenominational church goers (that worship in a church with a huge cross in it), the BSA who screams for diversity but then segregates themselves from the rest of the student body, the sports teams (aka. field hockey and lacross) are the only time you see a large group of girls all in skirts, the hardcore, balls out riders (horses that is), and everyone else who I left out.
Arrogant Writers: By the way, you stick with people "who" make you smile. I would use "whom" to ask with whom do you spend your time? "Who" is what or which person or persons; "whom" is the objective case of who, meaning it's a noun toward which the action of a verb is directed. Although frankly, I often go by which one sounds right.
