What is I'm Not Fucking This Dog, Just Holding It's Head?

1.

Used to describe your non-involvment in anything that you are watching in person. Especially if what you are watching is not something someone should be doing.

Another way of saying "Don't ask me, I just work here" or "I'm just a by stander to this party"

Person A: Why is that guy got his dick hanging over the banister

You: i'm not fucking this dog, just holding it's head.

See dog, fucking, just, this, head
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