What is Internets?
The term, Internets, is used only when referring to the uber-secret internet used only by Government and Bush cronies, thus plural.
Dear Reader, the internet you are now on is not the secondary one but the primary one invented by Al Gore. You are on the internet versus the internets.
"I hear there's rumors on the internets..."
--George W. Bush at the Presidential Debate
Something President Push hears rumors on. It is suspected that these internets are hidden from the rest of the world, cause we can only find one so far.
"I hear that there are rumors on the...uh...internets..." -Bush
George W Bush's name for the internet. It's mentioned in one of the other definitions on this page that his usage is correct. This is purely accidental. Coming from someone who was frighteningly intelligent and a brilliant orator, one might be tempted to give him the benefit of the doubt. But coming from someone who is profoundly unable to form sentences, say 'nuclear', ride bikes, ride Segways or eat pretzels, it's safe to assume that this is just another in a long line of oratorical train wrecks for poor old Bush Jr.
orig.: 'I hear there's rumors on the internets..'
contemp.: 'lol internets'
A term used by George W. Bush when he actually had meant to say "Internet":
While it's true that there exists an Internet2, there is no plausible reason to believe that Bush was referring to it, because I have no reason to believe that he is sufficiently technologically literate to be aware of its accidents and (more importantly), Internet2 is used solely as a network with which academic institutions transfer files at extremely high speeds and would therefore not have information about Bush's alleged millitary service foul play.
On the, on the internets
the currency used on the internets.
'i paid bob twenty internets because he posted a pic of epic lulz'
Somthing that the average joe will never know of. Used only by the secret service and its commanders, the Internets is a top secret way of transfering information around the globe at the speed of light. George W. Bush thought of the idea after consuming a high amount of Coke and Pepsi together, while watching porn on the "Internet"
Bush: Hmmmmmmm, The Internet is too untrustworthy. I must create somthing more powerful............. The Internets!
The internets raped my house, stole my wife, and burned my dog. I'm off to commit