I-tach

What is I-tach?


1.

A rhythm found in emergency departments, predominantly in the western and southwestern United States. "Tach" is slang for the prefix "tachy-", which means "abnormally rapid".

CONTEXT: Where V-Tach (ventricular tachycardia - an "an abnormally fast heart rate orginating from the bottom of the heart") is a lethal heart rhythm, I-Tach is not lethal... just annoying.

INCIDENCE: I-Tach is most common among elderly Hispanic females -- with a hangnail, a rash, painful urination, or some other dire "emergency" -- with 370 relatives surrounding the gurney upon which she lay.

USES: It is used both to gain familial sympathy and to coerce the medical staff to leave the bedside of heart attack, gunshot wound, or similarly trivial patients, and promptly attend to her "emergency" instead.

Abuelita comes in at 3 a.m. with an emergency rash on her ass she's had for three weeks. She lies quietly behind her curtain for forty minutes without uttering a sound... then family shows up. And more family. And more. Suddenly, abuelita begins...

"Ayyyye... Ayyyye... AyyYai..... ¡Ayuda mi, Dios!... AyeAyeAyeAyeAyeAyeAyeAye. Yaiyaiyai..YaiYaiYaiYaiYai.. Ayyyyyyee!"

Witnessing this, you yell out mockingly...

Tony... Dr. Kootersplat... Call a code and get the rash cart to Med-2 STAT... better get a splinter-removal tech down here, too... the lady just went into I-Tach.


0

Random Words:

1. Tom Clancy's male organ that he has doubtlessly outfitted with infered crosshairs, and night vision goggles. Conversation between ..
1. acronym for What Sex Am I. An expletive said when encountering a person whose gender is indeterminate. Dude, check out that w'sai!..
1. A music company owned by E-Dub in Dirty Jerz. DJ KillYaSef is that hot shit off of EPBRNJ, inc. See record label, tag, dirty jerz, gri..
Book Banner