Jacobite Adherent

What is Jacobite Adherent?


1.

A tiny but powerful PANTRY APPLIANCE.

Fresh from the drawing-board of the ingenious, feminist inventor ZARATHUSTRA THE ROOSTERand produced by her FRONTAGE FACTORY at Woodthorpe, Yorkshire, UK(a collection of converted hen-coops on her organic, country smallholding).

It has been described as "the newest GRANITE-CHIP from Yorkshire's silicon valley" and "the best piece of news for a lady's SPORRANsince the JACOBITE UPRISING of 1745".

The brilliantly-conceived JACOBITE ADHERENT is easily attached to the WOADIEon a lady's LIDand is guaranteed to transform the sleepiest SLUGGARD, YUKONor NOT-ONinto a rampant, vibrant JACKIE within minutes.

After extensive tests, the reaction of 99.7% of users was a resoundingly positive AAAAAAAAAH YES!!!!! (The other 0.3% were later discovered to have ceased breathing, and are now undergoing post-mortems.)

Zarathustra herself devised the slogan "With this JACKIE, your BOCCA really BITES."

See Persson


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