Jeeter

What is Jeeter?


1.

The common red-necked Jeeter can be found sporting a worn agricultural product or automotive sports cap at a roadhouse bar, where a chain-link fence shields the questionable talent from bottle hurling locals. (the hat's foam printed front is a requirement, mesh back is optional).

The Jeeter is usually scruffy, with at least a four-day beard and often twice as much growth sprouting from nostrils and ears. Skinny and with darting eyes, the Jeeter emerges from his dented and jacked-up Ford F-150, 85 Camaro or un-muffled Station Wagon, sun baked to perfection with fresh nicotine tarnish accenting his moustache and fingers. Look for the scraggly salt-and-pepper hair jutting out from beneath his cap on Northern Jeeters, and for Southern Jeeters, a longer mullet will often be present. The vocal laugh of the common Jeeter sounds like a bass note coming from a bleached dashboard speaker that has torn from its rim. Teeth are, of course, optional.

Another mark of distinction is a nearly empty chain-to-belt wallet, and fingernails that look like the contain a 1/4 pound of driveway sealant.

When seen entering a strip joint, the Jeeter wallet contains a surprising amount ot greasy, wrinkled $1 bills.

Diverse examples of this sub-species can be found from Northern Maine to Florida, and westward to all suburbs and rural areas where major appliances and assorted dirt bike parts frequently adorn oil-soaked driveways, front lots and crowded porches.

Despite their unlikely candidacy as mates, Jeeters produce many offspring, and their broods are often found crowding around the tasting griddle at Costco, screaming in a MacDonald's bathroom or parking lot, or stealing Slim Jims at the 7-11.

Common names for the males are:

Dwayne, Jimbo, Darell, Earl, Bud, Jesse or Slim.

Common names for the females are:

Crystal, Kimmy, Darryl, Clarice, Janice or Ronnie.

For some reason, almost all the eldest offspring have the same name, "DoItNOW Shithead", and the younger offspring are usually called, "You Too!".

See jeeter, nicotine, caps, tractor, costco, rural, chains, camaro, ranchero, f-150, chevy

2.

A white trash guy. He enjoys hunting and most likely sports a mullet. His girlfriend is aptly named krystal. Aaron carter would fit this criteria. Jeeter is most likely to be seen in the trailor park, in the woods hunting, or in jail.

Jeeter celebrates his new STD.

See Underoath

3.

one who is unually white trash, or redneckish.

Look at that jeeter over there! Woo-wee that boy's ridin that tractor like there ain't no tomorrow!!

See christa

4.

Particularly used by Muslim Phackers.

He is jeeter than all of us combined.

See Mayo

5.

any member of the country punk band CISCO JEETERS

Tony Jeeter has toe-finger, the man with a hand of toes.

See cisco, jeeter, country, punk, waylon

6.

(n.) A spasticperson like that of Jeeter Buford, a character from the sex comedy, Buford's Beach Bunnies, who suffers from heterophobia/sexophobia: fear of the opposite sex. Light symptoms of "Jeeterness" include sheepishbehavior and Gumpism, while serious cases involve bed-wetting and psychotic convulsions at the mere touch of a woman.

(adj.) Exhibiting the characteristic traits of Jeeter Buford (see above).

1.) "That Jeeter has no idea what to do around a woman!"

2.) "Don't expect to pull wooltonight with Jeeter Bill around here."

See numbnut, toolbag, gimp, cock block, jinx


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