What is Jesus Fish?
1.
people who would rather put a symbol of modern christianity on their cars than actually live the christian life. usually seen on vehicles speeding and cutting people off in traffic.
that car that ran over my grandma's feet had a jesus fish on it. the driver must have been late for church.
2.
In ancient Greek times Christians would be executed if they were found to be so. Therefore the ichthys (Jesus fish) was used as a way for two Christian to be made known to each other. In the ground, using a stick or staff, one man would draw the first arch of the ichthys and wait until another man would walk up and draw the second arch to finish it. This method would allow both men to know the other was a Christian without making the risk of voicing it.
Though back in those days they knew what the symbol actually meant, it was chosen by its simplicity. The ichthys is actually a symbol of fertility. In today's culture it is displayed on its side to look like a fish. Originally it was displayed with the football-shaped hole pointing upward and the open end downward. This showed what it truly represented, the vagina and anus of the fertility goddess Atargatis. Atargatis is also known in different cultures as Tirgata, Aphrodite, Pelagia or Delphine.
*looking at a car driving by with a jesus fish on the back*
"I see he's pro-vaginas."
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3.
The fish that people put on the back of their cars to
A) Tell everyone that
B) That they are members of the
C) All of the above
"Look, that guy just put a Jesus Fish on his Ford!"
"Hmm... must be Bill Frist."
4.
A poser christians justification to cut people off and drive like assholes.
Dude, he's got a Jesus Fish, he just cut me off. WTF!
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5.
A piece of fish-shaped plastic, usually made in China, designed to stick to the rear of mainly American owned vehicles to demonstrate to the rest of the world that the bearer prefers to ignore irrefutable evidence discovered by the most brilliant minds in science and base their smug, superior public personas on fairy tales and superstition, whilst engaging in closeted guilt-ridden sessions of drug-fuelled sexual deviance and other hypocrisy.
Rev. Ted Haggard, Newt Gingrich, Pat Robertson, God I hate those jesus fish people
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6.
A mostly religious symbol, as well as a sort of fraternity/sorority, that puts the fish onto the back of cars that show other drivers that the person driving would rather ruin the resale value of a car and wipe their ass with a 5 dollar bill. While at the same time deliver a nice "fuck you" as they speed by you into a merge where they cut you off while changing lanes in a intersection. So the driver can get to church the fastest to brag about their wonderful lives/children/money.
"My Jesus Fish means that even if i don't respect people while they're driving or while they walk the same planet as me, i'll still get into heaven. because i have jesus on my side and as long as "faggots" and jews walk this earth i'm better than them because i carry the predominate traits of jesus."
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7.
A simple shape consisting of two intersecting arcs resembling the profile of a fish. Christians claim that they adopted this symbol because they were called to be “fishers of men” and because the Greek word for fish could be taken as an acronym for the Greek words for “Jesus Christ, God Son Savior” (ichthus = Iesous Christos Theou Uiou Soter). They also claim that the symbol could be used as a secret means of identifying one another during times of persecution (they very much enjoy the use of the martyr theme, and it is essential in that as a reactive worldview / slave morality an adversary to rebel against is required). This is unlikely, however, in that the symbol of the fish was already an extremely popular, important, and powerful pagan symbol, both in sacred geometry and in association with the goddess. Pagans both knew what it meant and knew that it had nothing to do with Jesus, and the Christians of that time would be no more able to use it as a secret means of identification than Pagans would be able to use the sign of the cross as a secret means of identification today. It is far more likely that Christians adopted the symbol in order to conquer the symbolic territory it held in the minds and hearts of the people—it was far too powerful to either allow to exist without being subjugated or to destroy. It both represents the first and last crescents of the moon (and thus the feminine cycle) and the overlapping of two circles so that the center of each is on the circumference of the other (the ratio thus created being the square root of three and being approximated by what was known as “the measure of the fish”, 265:153 (though 362:209 and 989:571 are closer approximations). In that Jesus is said to have caused specifically 153 fish to be caught in the Gospel of John, this is a reference to “the measure of the fish” and the beliefs of such groups as the Pythagoreans). It was most importantly a reference to the goddess as a symbol of her genitals, however, and was a universal symbol of sex, life, women, and birth. Goddesses across mythology are associated with fish. Friday the 13th is considered unlucky because Friday was the day of Venus, a powerful feminine and sexual symbol, and 13 was associated with the lunar calendar (which unlike the solar calendar sometimes has 13 months in a year) and thus the Goddess. Friday was Venus’s feast day and people feasted on fish—a tradition later taken up by Christians. The hands pressed together in prayer froms a yoni (symbolic vagina) to pray to the Goddess, and to be lead through a giant yoni in a ritual of devotion to the Goddess is to be “born again.”
The symbol of the fish revered by Christians today as the Jesus Fish is based on the Goddess's vagina--this is more apparent when it is placed nose up.
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