Jesusland

What is Jesusland?


1.

The magical North American Christian theocracy whose citizenry have given George Bush a second term in office not because of his "accomplishments", but because of his blatant religious fundamentalism and exaggerated 1950s-era "family values." It is bordered by the Blue States and Canada to the west, north, and northeast; Mexico to the south, and the Atlantic to the east.

In Jesusland, "family values" and religious beliefs are the only things considered when voting for President. Even if the candidate is a corrupt scumbag with one hand in the oil industry's pants and the other shoving a dildo up the collective ass of the middle-class.

2.

A place where most(not all, fortunately) of the population consists of narrow-minded white Southern Baptists who got Bush a second term due entirely on his neo-evangelical "family values" he preached about in his 2004 presidential campaign that basically promoted religious bigotry and intolerance toward gays and Jews, along with policing womens' rights and deeming other religions as "inappropriate", while disregarding Bush's other plans which would throw this country into a further decay.

Jesusland also, coincidently, consists almost entirely of all the land where slavery used to be legal back in the 1800s.

Residents of Jesusland who voted against Bush often find themselves persecuted for supporting, in the words of their oppressors, "Godless, amoral, fag-loving baby-killers" once they say anything negative about him.

~The place I regretfully live in is part of Jesusland. Don't blame me, I voted against Bush!

See Pyro

3.

1.The so-called "ignorant" red states. It implies that EVERY SINGLE VOTER IN THE SOUTH AND MIDWEST voted for Bush, in spite of the fact that Kerry got at least 40% of the votes in all those states

2. A very stupid Internet meme that's only going to ensure that the Democrats lose the midterm elections in 2006, and that the next Democratic Presidential candidate pulls numbers of 20-30% in the South and midwest next time. Mainly spread by whiny bitchy Northeastern and Californian elitist jackasses who'd rather feel morally superior than actually DO ANYTHING to break the Republican stranglehold on US politics.

I'm from "Jesusland", yet I'm a bisexual atheist who didn't vote for Bush.

4.

1. The majority of the United States, where the majority of the citzens read the Bible and have morals, unlike the Yankess.

2. The Southern States, in the United States, who know how to correctly vote for someone.

The people in Jesusland were thrilled when Senator John Kerry lost the election.


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