What is Joaquin-phoenixed?
1.
A very rare disease one can attain from watching too many or acting in too many M. Night Shyamalan films. Though it may seem like a joke, this is a serious matter that must be addressed summarily. This disease can attenuate motivation, make you grow comical facial hair, face plant off a stage, increase your need to take narcotics by 675% as well as make one place gum under David Lettermans desk. Serious side effects include making one quit acting and start rapping. If indeed M. Night Shymalan is the cause of this, Mel Gibson and Bruce Willis should be joining NO LIMIT RECORDS any day now.
I woke up in an alley with a Moses like beard with needles all around me after a 14 day bender. I smelled of urine and appeared to have shat myself as well. Rather that shave and shower, all I could think about doing was rapping. When my crack dealer told me I might have been Joaquin-Phoenixed, I knew I should not have watched Sings 87 times last month.
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