John Major

What is John Major?


1.

Boring Prime Minister who did not a lot other than paved the way for an even worse Prime Minister. Told us all to refrain from adultery whilst he did otherwise. Tony Blairs Scapegoat for all thats wrong with Britain a decade later. Erm, thats about it.

Why did John Major have a stomach ache? He was always eating dodgy Currie

2.

He talked about everything and nothing really. He arrived with a new wave of optimism and disappeared without a bat of an eyelid (mainly due to the UK's adoration New Labour as they swept into Downing Street).

Alright kind of bloke in truth, could've fulfilled any other job in Government at the time to a high standard except that of Prime Minister!

Things of note during his lengthy, but seemingly brief 6 and a half years as PM:

Signed Maastricht, and...

lost election to Labour in landslide.

Thats about it really!

3.

Prime Minister of UK 1990 - 97. Politically a failure really. His achievements include:

- in 1992 he totally fucked the economy with the the ERM debacle;

- 1993 - 1997 he sort of stabilised the economy but no-one forgave him when it came to the next elextion;

- He had two schemes to try and take people's mind off what happened in 1992. The first was the so-called "Back to Basics" slogan, which led to every Tory who had ever had an affair being publically humiliated.

- The second idea was the Northern Ireland Peace Process, which involved releasing loads of IRA terrorists from jail, in return for which the IRA has not yet decommissioned one single firearm.

- On the plus side, he invented the National Lottery, and timed important international summit meetings to coincide with major rugby and cricket matches.

Ah Mr Aherne! Why not fly over Saturday morning to have a summit on the Ulster problem. And then we can go to Twickers for the England/Ireland match in the afternoon.


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