What is Jonas Brothers?
1.
A shitty, pop, rock band that makes it harder to apperecite good music today. People who claim to be fans of this 'band' usually fall under the line of being female, 6-17 years old, disney channel/high school musical lover, types LiKeSs tHIssS!!! and is extremely annoying.
Person 1: OMG I lOvE tHe JoNaS BRoThErs!! Did yYYou sEe tHem oN DiSnEy CHaNnelLL LaSt nIgHt!!!??
Person 2: No, shut up and go listen to real music instead of drooling over people who don't even write/play their own songs.
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2.
Little parasites that hang on the ends of pubic hairs around the testicles and deliver venomous bites that turn the scrotum to mush.
Man #1: Ever get that feeling that you can't even feel your nuts?
Man #2: Um...no?
Man #1: Oh. Um, is that a bad thing then?
Man #2: I would think so.
Man #1: (feels down pants) Holy shit! My nuts are jelly!
Man #2: Seems like you've got the Jonas Brothers, my friend.
Man #1: Oh my god, how could this happen? I was so careful.
Man #2: Did you have sex with that
Hannah Montana girlMiley Cyrus ?
Man #1: Shit! She told me she was safe!
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3.
1) Another word to describe cocksucking incestrous gay men.
2) A group of sodomizers.
3) Penis suckers.
4) Another word to describe men who insert objects twice the size of pineapples into their anus for pleasure and don't remove them for two weeks in order to stretch their butthole to its largest.
5) The lack of douche.
6) Tight pants wearing cross-dressers.
7) An anal yeast infection. Highly contagious.
8) Racist bastards who believe in nothing but the killing and deletion of African American and Jewish people. They use their music to hide secret messages from the public.
9) Descendants of KKK grandmasters.
10) A group of Jew-cunt faggot bitches that likes chode down their throats.
1) Nick Jonas: I feel like choking on cock today.
Joe Jonas: Me too. Let's go find a cock to choke on.
Other Jonas bitch: Let's Jonas Brothers!
All: Yeah!
2) Hick: You're one of dem Jonas Brothers! We don't accept your kind around this here town!
Jonas Brothers: Let's sodomize you, hillbilly! You're gonna take it!
3) Jonas Brothers: (sucking cock) Yummmmmm.
Man: You guys are a bunch of Jonas Brothers.
4) Woman: Doesn't that hurt your anus from all that Jonas Brothering?
Nick Jonas: Nope, it feels quite good to Jonas Brother.
Joe Jonas: I need something seven times the size of a pineapple now! My anus is stretched so far if I fell on someone's head I'd literally swallow them into my body.
5) Man: Your vagina's starting to smell like the Jonas Brothers!
Woman: I have a lack of douche, sorry.
6) Nick Jonas: (in dressing room) Are my pants too tight?
Other Jonas Brother: We're the Jonas Brothers. Of course not!
Joe Jonas: I think I lost my vagina in these pants.
7) Man: I have a burning sensation in my pants, doctor.
Doctor: I'm sorry to report that you have a serious case of the Jonas Brothers.
Man: How long do I have to live?
Doctor: I'm afraid not long. I'd say around three hours. It's that bad.
8) Man: Shit!
Black Man: Shit, it's the Jonas Brothers! RUN!
Jonas Brothers: We're gonna get you, nigga!
9) Jonas Brothers: (on stage dressed as KKK Klansmen) I'm sure glad to be a Jonas Brother! My grandparents would be so proud of us!
10) Man: Fuck, it's the Jonas Brothers. Kill me now.
Jonas Brothers: (choking on cock) I sure like chode down my throat! Mmm!
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4.
Someone once said that, given an infinite amount of time, a thousand monkeys with typewriters could write out the works of Shakespeare. As for the Jonas Brothers : One monkey in five minutes.
Jonas Bro 1: Hurry up monkey, we need a new song!
Monkey: HOOO HEEE hOOOO HEEE!
Jonas Bro 2: Holy shit! That monkey's talented! Alright guys lets go record this.
And another Jonas Brothers song is created, ready to receive the adoration of their devoted fans.
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5.
The worst thing that ever happened to music.
Just a bunch of religious-wackjob pretty boys in vests and dress-shirts with too much eyeliner.
Someone: Oh my God, help, the Jonas Brothers are on the radio! 911!
Me: Here, this should help! *slides CD "Nevermind" by Nirvana into CD player*
Someone: Ah, thank you! So much better. *sighs and begins to play air guitar to "Smells Like Teen Spirit"*
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6.
some bubble gum pop band that came from my hometown of wyckoff new jersey. their main fan base consists of girls between ages 9 - 19. nick is the only one that has any talent. even though they are considered by many (and by many i mean teenage girls) the best thing since sliced bread, they are not even that good. metallica is way better.
group of girls: omg the jonas brothers are so hot. they are all so sensitive and not afraid to show their emotions.
weird guy: omg i know
group of guys: gay
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7.
The Jonas Brothers are a Christian Rock band from Wyckoff, New Jersey.
They started their careers when the youngest Jonas, Nicholas, who is currently 14, got signed to a recording contract with INO/Columbia Records.
Soon after, the record label heard a song that Nicholas had written with his brothers, Joseph and Kevin. The record label soon signed them as a brother group.
The rest it history.
Hey! The Jonas Brothers are playing Jersey tonight!
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