Joseph Smith

What is Joseph Smith?


1.

The best con man that ever lived. Created his own religion based on ideas he borrowed (stole) from an unpublished novel and the mason sect. Established a devoted flock of religious followers while remarkably continuing his snake oil ways until the day he was killed. The man is now a saint and founder of the Mormon church.

Ken Delay is a loser. He made lots of money, but got busted in his own lifetime and will always be a loser. Joseph Smith, however, created his own reality making the rules and then changing the rules to suit his mood. Joseph Smith is a saint.

2.

Founder of Mormonism.

Every Hebrew letter is a number. The name Joseph Smith written in Hebrew adds up to 666. Joseph is: Yod = 10. Holem Waw = 6. Samech = 60. Pheh = 80. Smith is: Samech = 60. Mem = 40. Yod = 10. Thau = 400. Add it up.

See 666, mark of the beast, mormonism, moronism, lds, hebrew

3.

A married man who created a religion in order to have guilt-free sex with his 16 year old housekeeper. He wrote a book which contains the phrase "and it came to pass" hundreds of times, because he was an uneducated man who tried to copy the style of the Bible and couldn't write very well. Although he practiced polygamy and he is the most important person in the Mormon religion, Mormons today are very against polygamy because a long time ago the church decided it needed to stop in order to gain acceptance among people. Don't be fooled. Mormon heaven involves polygamy, their prophet was a polygamist, and if they could have continued marrying multiple 12 year old girls and fucking them (as they did in the past and as fundamentalist Mormons continue to do to this day, seriously) you can bet your ass they would.

Joseph Smith created a cult, but his followers will tell you it is just as legitimate as any other religion. Except for the fact that all the world's scientists will tell you that New Mexico was not the cradle of civilization, and there is absolutely no evidence of Israelis in ancient America. Sorry, Joseph Smith had no idea of modern science when he was making up this crock of garbage.

Mormons aren't bad people, but they are stupid for believing in this gigantic load of bullshit. They also believe non-white people were cursed by God.

Joseph Smith was a prophet, dumb da-dumb-dumb-dumb

See mormon, idiot, cult, fake, phony

4.

A man who was persecuted by those who could not conceive of there being modern-day revelation. He restored the gospel after a nearly 1700 year apostasy. This church, called "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints", does not practice polygamy, and does not believe in saints the way other religions believe in saints.

Joseph Smith died a martyr for what? For what he knew was true and wouldn't deny.

See lds, mormon, prophet

1.

Joe Smith was a failed con-man who finally succeeded by fooling people into believing that he found some gold plates with a record of the ancient inhabitants of the Americas in the ground and "translated" them by sticking his head in his hat and having the words magically appear. When he was unable to sell his "book" he founded a religion the mormons, because much to his surprise, many people actually bought his crazy story. (Mormons are also known collectively as the morg)

Despite a life of crime and sexual liasons with the children (some as young as 14) and the wives of his followers, he succeeded in gathering several thousand followers and founded a city in Illinois where he, as mayor, was able to escape justice from all the crimes he had committed in Missouri and Ohio. But after his sexual liasons with teenagers and other mens wives exposed in a newly founded newspaper, he ordered it destroyed and committed treason against the U.S. by ordering his private militia in to action. While awaiting trial on the treason charges he ordered his militia to come and break him out of jail, but the messenger he sent refused to join him in his treasonous acts. He was killed in a gun battle with a vigilante mob, but mormons claim he managed to kill 2 of the vigilantes.

Because of Joseph Smith's penchant for abusing his power to fuck the teenage daughters of his followers, a married middle-aged man who uses a position of power to fuck a teenager is Joseph Smithing.

Did you hear Mr. Toolman, the girls basketball coach got caught Joseph Smithing one of the girls on the team?

2.

An American prophet of God. Joseph Smith sought to know which of all churches was true, and following an examination of religions of the day, determined to ask God. In the spring of 1820, Joseph went into a grove of trees to ask for an answer. God the Father and Jesus Christ appeared to the young man and called him to a great work.

Joseph Smith translated the Book of Mormon, ancient Scripture that testifies of Jesus Christ and His visit to the Americas.

According to revelation and instruction from God, Joseph Smith founded the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints on 6 April 1830.

The Lord told Joseph that his name would be had for good and evil throughout the generations, and ever it has been. While many insult this Prophet, the Church he started grew from 6 members in 1830 to over 12 million in 2005.

Joseph Smith was an honorable man who sought all his life to fulfill God's work and will on earth. Finally, Joseph gave his life in testament to the work when an angry, evil, jealous mob martyrd him in Carthage, Illinois in June 1843. Joseph was being held on false and spurious charges and under the alleged protection of the State of Illinois and the Governor when the mob murdered him in cold blood, together with his brother Hyrum.

Joseph Smith, the Prophet and Seer of the Lord, has done more, save Jesus only, for the salvation of men in this world, than any other man that ever lived in it. In the short space of twenty years, he has brought forth the Book of Mormon, which he translated by the gift and power of God, and has been the means of publishing it on two continents; has sent the fulness of the everlasting gospel, which it contained, to the four quarters of the earth; has brought forth the revelations and commandments which compose this book of Doctrine and Covenants, and many other wise documents and instructions for the benefit of the children of men; gathered many thousands of the Latter-day Saints, founded a great city, and left a fame and name that cannot be slain. He lived great, and he died great in the eyes of God and his people; and like most of the Lord's anointed in ancient times, has sealed his mission and his works with his own blood; and so has his brother Hyrum.

See Jay


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