Joseph Smith V

What is Joseph Smith V?


1.

Joe Smith was a failed con-man who finally succeeded by fooling people into believing that he found some gold plates with a record of the ancient inhabitants of the Americas in the ground and "translated" them by sticking his head in his hat and having the words magically appear. When he was unable to sell his "book" he founded a religion the mormons, because much to his surprise, many people actually bought his crazy story. (Mormons are also known collectively as the morg)

Despite a life of crime and sexual liasons with the children (some as young as 14) and the wives of his followers, he succeeded in gathering several thousand followers and founded a city in Illinois where he, as mayor, was able to escape justice from all the crimes he had committed in Missouri and Ohio. But after his sexual liasons with teenagers and other mens wives exposed in a newly founded newspaper, he ordered it destroyed and committed treason against the U.S. by ordering his private militia in to action. While awaiting trial on the treason charges he ordered his militia to come and break him out of jail, but the messenger he sent refused to join him in his treasonous acts. He was killed in a gun battle with a vigilante mob, but mormons claim he managed to kill 2 of the vigilantes.

Because of Joseph Smith's penchant for abusing his power to fuck the teenage daughters of his followers, a married middle-aged man who uses a position of power to fuck a teenager is Joseph Smithing.

Did you hear Mr. Toolman, the girls basketball coach got caught Joseph Smithing one of the girls on the team?

2.

An American prophet of God. Joseph Smith sought to know which of all churches was true, and following an examination of religions of the day, determined to ask God. In the spring of 1820, Joseph went into a grove of trees to ask for an answer. God the Father and Jesus Christ appeared to the young man and called him to a great work.

Joseph Smith translated the Book of Mormon, ancient Scripture that testifies of Jesus Christ and His visit to the Americas.

According to revelation and instruction from God, Joseph Smith founded the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints on 6 April 1830.

The Lord told Joseph that his name would be had for good and evil throughout the generations, and ever it has been. While many insult this Prophet, the Church he started grew from 6 members in 1830 to over 12 million in 2005.

Joseph Smith was an honorable man who sought all his life to fulfill God's work and will on earth. Finally, Joseph gave his life in testament to the work when an angry, evil, jealous mob martyrd him in Carthage, Illinois in June 1843. Joseph was being held on false and spurious charges and under the alleged protection of the State of Illinois and the Governor when the mob murdered him in cold blood, together with his brother Hyrum.

Joseph Smith, the Prophet and Seer of the Lord, has done more, save Jesus only, for the salvation of men in this world, than any other man that ever lived in it. In the short space of twenty years, he has brought forth the Book of Mormon, which he translated by the gift and power of God, and has been the means of publishing it on two continents; has sent the fulness of the everlasting gospel, which it contained, to the four quarters of the earth; has brought forth the revelations and commandments which compose this book of Doctrine and Covenants, and many other wise documents and instructions for the benefit of the children of men; gathered many thousands of the Latter-day Saints, founded a great city, and left a fame and name that cannot be slain. He lived great, and he died great in the eyes of God and his people; and like most of the Lord's anointed in ancient times, has sealed his mission and his works with his own blood; and so has his brother Hyrum.

See Jay


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