What is Kairos?
1.
Pretty much the greatest thing ever. Kairos is a four day retreat developed by the Jesuits, and is practiced at high schools around the country, most notably at
Kairos revolves around its many secrets, the least secretive being the Huckle-Buckle and Naked Time. Retreatants are encouraged to bring their own broomstick and vasoline. These times are often celebrated back at school by Kairos alumni, who walk around muttering incomprehensible things like, "It's happening!"
Also upon completion of Kairos, you obtain your waffle. The waffle is to be worn at school, never given away, and if you even let your girlfriend wear it for an hour, you get chewed out by the priests.
The secrets of Kairos are also well enforced. A couple years ago, a Maryvale girl, Bernie, dated a Loyola kid who told her some of the Kairos secrets. The next day, she was found dead with a waffle lodged in her trachea.
Junior:"Yeah, so I decided not to go on Kairos, 'cause I figured it would be boring."
Senior:"You're right; I mean, they've been doing it for fifteen years, and everyone who's gone has absolutely hated it. It's a waste of time..."
Junior:"M'kay, good."
Senior:"That was supposed to be sarcastic..."
2.
A seemingly sacred word. Only discussed amongst those who have experienced it. Any mention of it around a non-Kairos person will provoke hysteria from some.
"Hey how cool is that how on Kairos you..."
"SHUT THE FUCK UP - JIMBO HASNT GONE YET!"
"Alright, alright, calm your religious ass down."
See
3.
a religious retreat that forms a cult amongst those that have gone on it, filled with secrets and other annoying things others can't know.
"Yea it's a Kairos thing"
4.
An overnight Jesuit retreat where you are subjected to meditations and intense journaling, all the while motivated by "surprises."
Emily dreaded going on Kairos, knowing that she would be away from Katie for days, and fearing she would come home shouting, "Live the Fourth!"
See
5.
A place, happening or time where your fears culminate and force a breaking point or submission that shuttles your soul to a new plane of hope.
No such luck, my friends. Everyone's Kairos is their own.
See
