What is Kelleharr?
1.
This word is often confused with another meaning of "kill a harr." Often, due to Britishs accents, the word 'whore' is mispronounced as 'harr.' (i.e. "I'm a woman, not a dirty harr.") However, Kelleharr does not actually mean to eliminate a sexually promiscuous woman.
Au contraire, this word presumably relates to a girl, BUT the gender of this individual is really unknown; many believe there is a somewhat large amount of testosterone in her system, as her voice is profoundly deep and raspy, even for a man, particularly when screaming "Cutter." Yes, it (as the gender is undefined) occasionally sees an activity done by very emo people in public, also known as ‘cutting’, so it feels the need to yell this and announce it to the passerby's and seemingly innocent bystanders (but when are the bystanders REALLY innocent?)
Another sign that questions Kelleharr’s femininity is her temperamental rage. Some believe it is on the roids. The Kelleharr has been known to have episodes of anger to the extreme during sporting events and when driving in its car, more so than plain old PMS. Her rage is classified as defcon -1, which is worse than the worse-est defcon: defcon 1. The government made a special defcon who’s sole purpose was for this Kelleharr. A legend states that in another life, she whipped out a machine gun on an old woman driving who apparently wasn’t going fast enough. She then proceeded to get out of her transportation vehicle of choice, shank her with a Machete, and then torch the car with her pet flamethrower, whom she had tamed to follow her command. Selected few individuals have also claimed to have seen not-so-feminine parts on her.
Kelleharr is a sadist. It receives pleasure from torturing naïve and innocent beings including: babies, infants, other children of the sort, The Julie, human beings in general, animals, and the lovely gifts from Mother Nature known as vegetation, not to mention outer space, the planet in which we live and loves participating in the depletion of the ozone layer (it is one of its favorite activities as well as performing the Red Robin Prank.) It enjoys swallowing the life and innocence out of the children. It often will go to a playground just to curse with its vulgar mouth while announcing that everything they believe in such as Santa, the Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny are lies.
It shoots down all dreams and aspirations from any individual, as a result of her own disappointments and failures. It tells all to aim low because if they have ambitions in life, they will only fail, and reminds them that it is the story of their life, no one likes them, not even their parents, and they should go crawl in a ditch and die. It tells people to shoot for less than nothing because they’ll get even less than that.
Rather than encouraging a creative, hopeful mind, it continues to force many in a depression so irreversible, the victims will remain in a psych ward forever, even after they die. Not only does she affect the lives of all, she promotes hell after death. It would not be surprising if it was discovered it was Satan’s Spawn. It pushes all to shoot towards the devil, and even if they fail, they will land far underneath the ground, rotting and decomposing amongst dirt, corpses, and the remnants of the bacteria of ancient diseases such as the Black Plague, and more recently, Swine Flu.
The Kelleharr has been deemed “armed and dangerous” by her high school. She can be seen wearing a pocket protector filled with several, colorful pens. Her weapon of choice? Bubblegum; quote, “It’s a bitch to get out of hair.” Do not be fooled by her appearance, for she is a nerd. Underneath it all, she is a dream crushing, vengeful, manly ogre.
Jimmy: Some day I want to grow up to work at McDonalds!
Kelleharr: F*** that. You won't make it. You would even fail at being a bum
living in a cardboard box. You don't even deserve a cardboard box. No one likes
you. Santa is a lie. Your parents hate you. Go die and always remember your life
was wasted as nothing but a failure.
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