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Acting sexually explicit whilst in the presence of offspring. Usually involves the use of sex toys, keyboards, feces, vacuums, and alcohol (specifically Jose Cuervo). However, to truly kingbailey one must barrel roll while shit-faced drunk and vomit profusely over nice carpeting. It's not kingbailey-ing (see verb tense.) if the one committing said roll doesn't immediately and sincerely apologize for said failed or succeeded roll.
The verb kingbailey first came into popular use on April 4th, 2008 on Yahoo chat. He proceeded then to commit acts of unspeakable epic, including: defecating on his hand, licking the feces, hitting a child with a dildo, parading around in a KKK hoodie, bailey rolling, hitting a child with a chair, placing his penis in a vacuum with children in the vicinity, placing a dildo on his head, placing a keyboard on his head, placing a keyboard and a dildo on his head, vomiting on a carpet, and licking his hand which he defecated on after cleaning it.
Side note: if any said offspring of a person(s) committing a kingbailey show their testicles on cam, it is common etiquette to take said child and throw him across the room.
Guy 1: My life is feeling so unsatisfactory lately, my job is well paying, my wife loves me, I have two great children, and my hands are entirely feces-free! Whatever shall I do?
Guy 2: You need to get shit-faced and go kingbailey, good sir.
See king, baily, kingbailey, epic, win, feces, shit, kids, kid, great, parent
