What is Krasmonaut?
1.
You are considered a Krasmonaut if you have an unhealthy obsession with The Matrix, Star Wars, and Role Playing Games (i.e. Dungeons and Dragons) Along with these qualifications it is necessary for you to have an extremely gorgeous younger sister who most of the population would describe as "loose." You grew up in a small suburb outside of Chicago but insist that you are a city boy. You are considered a religious nomad by many because you have switched your faith 3 or more times. You uncoordinatedly walk the hallways of your high school while quoting lines from the afore mentioned movies that nobody has ever heard before. (i.e. "Our systems will be quite operational by the time your friends arrive." - Emperor Palpetine, Return of the Jedi.) At lunch you place 8 tables in a circle every day and claim to be “Lord of the Octagon.” You melee your compatriots in the back to claim your position at the head of the Octagon. You stole your friend’s plastic ring from his LOTR Risk set and wear it around your neck claiming to be the ring bearer. Playing the trombone in the marching band proved to be too hard for you so you grew your hair long, picked up an acoustic guitar, and started listening to Jimi Hendrix. You have a total of 5 close friends all of which are interested in the exact same things as you and each have a sincerely perverted attraction to your younger sister. You are self-conscious and easily angered. When you are enraged you attack your antagonist with large branches from trees (You have personalized your tree branch collection by giving each branch a name (i.e. “The Tree Lance”)) While participating in a dodge ball tournament you shout “Take him down Legolas!” 1.5 times per game. On weekends you spend countless hours playing World of Warcraft (WOW) trying to gain valuable experience points for your level 24 mage while rocking out to your Linkin Park/The Who/Mortal Combat Techno play list. You are a yellow belt in Jujitsu, pretend to know Spanish and your lifelong dream is to become Indiana Jones.
“I camped outside Best Buy for 12 days in anticipation of the release of Star Wars Battlefront 2 for XBOX; I am such a Krasmonaut.”
See
