What is Kurtianyk?
1.
A large radial object consisting of an extremely large landmass, appears to be shaped like a snowman - A round head and body with thin arms and legs unable to support the increasing mass.
In water appears similar in appearance to a whale or small landmass.
On land appears to be a crashed meteroid or giant marshmellow man. A Kurtianyk can often be seen raiding candy factorys or the local Burger King.
The American corporation has declared a state of emergency, with armed security being deployed to all Burger King outlets... unfortunately it just feeds the beast more.
Rumoured to be the sick experiment of a mad Ukrainian (See
Regarded on the same level as the
A day in the life of a burger king employee:
Employee: Hello Burger King How May We Help??
Kurtianyk: Yo I want 50 bacon double cheese burgers fo shizzy!
Employee: We dont do telephone orders im afraid sir
Kurtianyk: IM GONNA EAT YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ALIVE MO'FUZZLES
Employee: Sir calm down its only junk food.
Kurtianyk: ILL EAT YOUR FACE AND YOUR FAMILY BITCH!
A day at the beach (in London)
Kid: HEY MOMMY I FOUND A BEACHED WHALE!
Greenpeace: LETS SAVE THIS GUYS!
Kurtianyk: Shut up kid im sunbathing... dont make me eat you... bitch!
Kid: MOMMY T_T THE WHALE THREATENED ME!!!!
Captain Birdseye: ITS A WHALE, YARR LETS MAKE A BURGER GUYS
Kurtianyk: Yummmm Burger!
Captain Birdseye: ITS COMING RIGHT FOR US! - ABANDON SHIP!!
See
