What is Lake Oswego?
1.
Conservative suburban bubble found near Portland, Oregon. Home to an algae-filled "lake," 7-11, and Bob.
Notable events include weekly DC and other quasi-legal activities, Frisbee Monday/Wednesday at 7:17, and drinking. Lots of drinking.
Town closes at 9:00 nightly, except on weekends. Then it's 9:15.
Also known as LO, Lake BigEgo, Lake NoNegro, The Bubble.
I'm so excited to get out of Lake Oswego in mere weeks!
2.
A former resort town just south of Portland, now a refuge of former yuppies and selfish, wealthy conservatives. Not unlike Pandora's Box, there is a glimmer of reason and truth amongst many of the residents. However, many of them leave for college and wish to never return. And if they do, it's just for the schools. Honest.
A place where tax money goes to bitching at business owners to match a strict color and size scheme for their signs, building colors, curbsides, and anything else that will drive most endeavors into the ground.
A place where Bob and 7-11 are one's only solace.
A place where if you spend over $30,000 on a car, you never have to worry about paying for speeding tickets or even getting pulled over since the most common job in town is being a lawyer.
A place where people call the cops if you leave your front door open for more than five minutes, assuming that terrorists are attacking the neighborhood.
A place that can breed such a cynical person as myself.
Man, Lake Oswego is like a painkiller-induced euphoria for the middle-aged wealthy population that is too fearful to live in Portland.
3.
one of the wealthier suburbs of portland. while kids who go to lincoln, jesuit, or even west linn usually come from wealthier families than people who go to lake oswego or lakeridge, lake oswego is black balled as the spoiled rich place to be in oregon. most people are simple hated in this town for the fact that they are from lake oswego which is quite ridiculous. fact of the matter is its a nice suburb community that many people hate simply because they are jealous of it or have just been told, "oh you shouldnt like people from lake oswego"
oh your from lake oswego? i dont like you.
See
4.
-A suburb of Portland, OR, population 36,368.
-A liberal city containing some of the world's prejudice, spoiled people.
-Home to two rivaling highschools: Lakeridge and Lake Oswego.
-Bob and 7-11. What more can I say.
-An algae-filled lake that will never be cleaned due to high-phospate fertilizers and is not able to be drained because of the floating houseboats.
-A city filled with little racial diversity:
White Non-Hispanic (89.7%)
Two or more races (2.5%)
Hispanic (2.3%)
Chinese (1.5%)
Korean (1.1%)
Japanese (0.8%)
American Indian (0.8%)
Other race (0.7%)
Black (0.6%)
-A place where property tax is very high, and most residence are of upper middle class or higher.
-I live here, and don't particularly like it, although my family happens to be the best living here (muah ha).
Lady- So, where are you from?
You- Oregon.
Lady- Oh, Really? Where in Oregon?
You- Portland Area.
Lady- Oh, Really? What city?
You- Lake Oswego.
Lady- Oh. I don't like you.
See
5.
The best place to live in the whole fucking world. School uniforms are Juicy sweatsuits and Louis Vuiton backpacks. Vodka and crystal run freely in the drinking fountains. Who cares it's Lake Oswego. Every student is a genius, and they aint no racists. They actually WORSHIP black people...the 2 that go to the school anyways. Every sport wins at everything...it's LO. The girls are dime. One person in the history of the school had sex...she died. The ecstasy and alc aint no problem if you know what I mean. You can best find kids running around with their nannies, tubing on the lake, or visiting a vacation home. Teenagers are driving around their range rovers and Hummers PAST nine oclock trying to find parties and getting MIPed. Standard procedure. You can find the LOPO around every street corner looking like they're busy doing something important. Well, usually they're scouting out dangerous speeders driving 2 or 3 miles per hour over the speed limit. The average GPA is 4.0. It's Lake Oswego aka LO...the shit.
Charles: Dude what are we gunna do tonight?
Ryan: I don't fuckin know I have to finish my calculus homework. Then we should like hit up Clarissa's party on the lake. I think she found the key to their wine cellar.
Charles: That stuff is expensive, dude.
Ryan: Um...it's fucking Lake Oswego.
Charles: Oh ya, fuck yes.
Example 2:
Claire: Did you hear about Lizy?
Madeline: what?
Claire: She made out with a black guy.
Madeline: nu uh.
Claire: seriously.
Madeline: oh my god. that's fucking amazing
See
6.
Everything stated above is not completely true. Not everyone is rich, but it is a very nice place to live. It is extremely safe which makes it a wonderful neighborhood to live in. Lake Oswego's curfew is the exact same as all the other cities in Oregon, so there's no need to rip on it. It is stereotyped for something that it appears to be. Schools are very nice and kids get extremely good grades, making it an "exceptional" school. Just because someone lives there doesn't make them bratty and snobs. There just like you.
Girl: hey where do you live?
Boy: Lake Oswego
girl: oh that's cool, i heard it's really nice
Boy: yeah it is, but were just as normal as you
Girl: oh thats good!
Boy: yeah
See
7.
small conservative town filled with rich middle aged people that are too afraid to live in portland. Residents of lake oswego think that this is "The OC" of Oregon. People coming from actual so cal want to shoot lake oswego-ans in the foot.
You can find rich couples walking the streets on friday night decked out in fur coats and sports coats.
The teens in this town think they are the shit.
everyone shops at abercrombie and fitch and look the EXACT same. it's really quite sad. there is a group of sluts that call themselves "the fab 7". i want to hurl.
the LO PO (lake o police) have nothing better to do than pulling over teens for 'looking suspicious".
how to look like a typical LO girl:
fake tan every day
bleach your hair blonde and straighten it.
abercrombie jeans and a tight abercrombie tank of some sort. be sure to flaunt the middriff.
1 more year in lake oswego and then i'll be gone forever!
See
