What is L.a.m.s.?
1.
Look At Me Syndrome (L.A.M.S.)is a mental obsessive/compulsive disorder characterized by persistent and unremittant talking about oneself, often accompanied by sporadic dancing, singing, speaking in ridiculous accents, wildly improbable hairstyles or modes of dress, invasive and unnecessary plastic surgery, dramatic displays of intense emotion and other such desperate bids for attention and/or fame.
How Common Is Look At Me Syndrome?
Although the prevalence of LAMS is not really known, the Center for Ridiculous Acting Control (CRAC) estimates that 3 out of 10 persons (8 out of 10 among theatre groups) have Look At Me Syndrome symptoms. It is estimated that perhaps as many as 10 million persons in North America (9 million of these in L.A. and New York City) suffer from LAMS or have a LAMS-like condition. LAMS affects all three genders (women moreso than men, and drag queens most of all), and can be found among all racial, ethnic and socioeconomic groups. Except for asians (not including Jackie Chan and Bai Ling).
Causes of LAMS
The cause or causes of Look At Me Syndrome remain unknown. It is possible that there is a single (as yet unidentified) cause for LAMS or that LAMS results from multiple causes. A person may have one or more causes for Look At Me Syndrome. Conditions that have been proposed to trigger the development of LAMS include a lack of attention or devotion received as a child, other childhood trauma such as being lost down a well or locked repeatedly in hall closets by abusive nannies or baby-sitters, the absence of reflective surfaces in the home, and the consumption of insect pesticides.
Treatment for Look At Me Syndrome
Because the cause is not known, treatments for LAMS focus on symptoms, typically through the use of pharmaceutical drugs and narcotics. It is essential that the drug(s) chosen must knock the LAMS sufferer on his or her ass and induce a state of quiet catatonia, thereby giving blessed relief to all other LAMS-free persons nearby. Such LAMS-free persons are often known as LAMchops and band together in defensive groups against more hostile or aggressive LAMS. Therapy and support groups are often recommended for LAMchops and have shown some benefit.
Some (More or Less) Famous LAMS
Celine Dion, Michael Jackson, Joan Rivers, Janice Dickinson, Paris Hilton & Nicole Richie, Jackie Chan, Patsy & Edina, The Spice Girls, Baroness Jocelyn Wildenstein (nee Frankenstein), Zsa Zsa Gabor, Hitler, Vanity Smurf, Barbie, Nomi Malone from Showgirls, Amanda Lapore, and pretty much all women who routinely get collagen or botox injected into their faces.
Ooooo, did you hear? Courtney Love has got L.A.M.S. I hear it's terminal, girl.
See
2.
L.A.M.S. or "Look At Me Syndrome" is a mental obsessive/compulsive disorder characterized by persistent and unremittant talking about oneself, often accompanied by sporadic dancing, singing, speaking in ridiculous accents, wildly improbable hairstyles or modes of dress, invasive and unnecessary plastic surgery, dramatic displays of intense emotion and other such desperate bids for attention and/or fame. With the encroachment of so-called "Reality" TV, LAMS has reached pandemic proportions.
Some (More or Less) famous LAMS include: Celine Dion, Michael Jackson, Joan Rivers, Janice Dickinson, Paris Hilton & Nicole Richie, Jackie Chan, Patsy & Edina, The Spice Girls, Baroness Jocelyn Wildenstein (nee Frankenstein), Zsa Zsa Gabor, Hitler, Vanity Smurf, Barbie, Nomi Malone from Showgirls, Amanda Lapore, and pretty much all women who routinely get collagen or botox injected into their faces.
"Did you hear the about Courtney Love's latest meltdown?"
"No, girl. How bad is it?"
"She's got the L.A.M.S."
"Terminal?"
"Looks like it, girl."
See
