What is Lancaster?
1.
Horrible little desert turd town in California that rests above the flames of hell. It is considered the Alabama of Los Angeles County with possibly the highest number of working class Republicans outside of the South per capita.
If you are young, grew up in Lancaster, and you never left then you probably never went to college (AVC and the CSU Bakersfield extension campus don't count), you are probably married to an army guy, you probably are an army guy, and you most likely have 3 kids by now and you're only 24.
If you are young and you managed to escape this godforsaken place it won't be long before the AV Vortex (Antelope Valley Vortex) sucks you back in and you are forced to work here and live here FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER!!!
Lancaster is riddled with Wal-Mart and crystal meth.
"Hi, I live in Lancaster and my favorite hang out places are Wal-Mart and Movies 12 (the dollar theater). My neighbor makes crystal meth and I am 24 years old and have 4 kids and I never went to college."
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2.
Lancaster is a wonderful, friendly historic town in Lancashire, England. It's worth noting that Lancashire is named after Lancaster, and that Lancaster was an ancient kingdom. If you've heard of The War Of The Roses, well, the Kingdom of Lancaster was part of that.
People in Lancaster are nice and tolerant, and this is said to be due to the fact that the town had maintained a large catholic population despite the English Protestant reformation, so it had ~500 years of "multiculturalism". This said though, Lancaster was recently named the city with the least amount of non-whites in the UK, with less than 1% of its population being non-white. Racism does not seem to be an issue though.
Overall, Lancaster seems to be a place where people are relatively affluent and well-educated. That said, as with most English towns and cities, it has its share "townies" and hipsters. The townies and hipsters seem to have an enmity between them, but are still civil to each other.
Oh, and as for soaping the fountain just prior to the 21st of August 2005, we did that! A kid I knew who came from Morecambe poured a couple of 1L bottles from Wilko's into the fountain and it was a blast! Hilarious! Sooo funny!
Everyone there seemed to have fun that afternoon; you should've thrown someone in!
And last but not least, I should mention I had nothing to do with soaping the fountain today!
Lancaster, England is one funky town!
3.
The heart of Southeastern Pennsylvania, and the only Lancaster in the country pronounced in the Pennsylvania-Dutch style "LANK-es-ter." Like nearby
Though the ubiquitous scent of manure from nearby farms belies its ruralness in comparison to its neighboring Philadelphia, being from Lancaster is not a direct indication of being Amish.
Although the quilts really are spectacular.
"Directions from Philly to Lancaster? Well, if you wanna avoid tolls, take the Schyukill to 202. After Reading, you'll hit Bird-in-Hand, and you'll wanna follow the freeway past Intercourse and then through Paradise. Lancaster is just on the other side of Paradise...Whaddya want in Lancaster, anyway? You Aymish or somethin?"
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4.
When you're boning your girlfriend and she yells out some mythical creature that you have never heard of. Instead of yelling at her and asking her what the hell she is talking about you simply yell "Oh Lancaster" and you will both be equally confused.
Girl: Oh Lockeness Monster!!!!
Guy: OH LANCASTER
Girl: What the hell?
Guy: What the hell is the lockeness monster?
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5.
The avro Lancaster was a WW2 British heavy bomber which took place in the famous dam buster raids carrying the bouncing bomb, a passenger plane was derived from it after the war called a Lancastrian
the battle of britain memorial flight has spitfires, hurricanes and one Avro Lancaster
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6.
Home of the amish and their corn bread. Also place where an assortment of college kids live together and touch eachother in vulgar ways. It is the temporary home of some preppy coke heads from connecticut, skanks from new jersey, japs from new york, wannabees from maryland, average jo's from p.a., and really confused people from the other 45 states. Lancaster has one bar, which smells like piss, and the entire town smells like cow shit. The owner of this 1 bar has 2 teeth. Actually, there is another bar called Brickyard. Its the only place to go where you can take your mind off of the fact that you are stuck in fuckville, pa.
Townies call Lancaster (lan-cuh-stir)
and end every sentence like they're asking a question
OUt of Townies call Lancaster (Lang-cass-ter)
we are pushy, rude, entitled, and we drive our parent's bmw
7.
A name for a teenage girl that sucks cock for bus fair and ends up walking home. They are usually on welfare and live in the projects making food for their 13 children and washing loads of laundry for their various ammounts of boyfriends that abuse them mentally and sexually. They try to reach for help, but being social outcasts restricts them from recieving the attention they are so desperately trying to obtain. Generally are fat and ugly.
Holy fuck man, I think Chantelle is turning lancaster. Better watch out.
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