Landover Baptist

What is Landover Baptist?


God's favorite church where True Christians (Baptists) congregate. Landover Baptist is located in Freehold, Iowa and boasts a congregation of 157,000 members and 128 pastors. It preaches the Bible in it's entirety and has no problem telling people they are going to Hell. They pretty much hate everyone who isn't a White Anglo-Saxon Baptist, including, but not limited to Cathylicks, Homosexurals, Jews, Mooslims, Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses, Methodists, Epyskipals, Pentacostals, Blacks, Asians, and anyone else who is unsaved. The church is home to Pastor Deacon Fred, Betty Bowers, Sister Taffy, and Judy O Christian.

Landover Baptist is an incredibly well done parody site that mocks ultra-right wing fundamentalist protestants.

See C


A Christian fundamentalist website for "true Christians". The "unsaved are unwelcome."

Has strong opinions against Jews, Democrats, Catholics, Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, Liberals, poor people, homosexuals, television, blacks, the French, pagans, atheists, and Cat Stevens.

Believes Pixar is an evil propaganda machine controlled by homosexuals.

The church makes most of its profits from website hits and selling "What would Jesus do?" thongs.

Landover Baptist: Where the Worthwhile Worship. Unsaved Unwelcome.


The soil that covers the grave of a member of the Baptist faith.

After Pastor Jeremiah died, his coffin was placed in a freshly dug hole, which was then filled in with landover baptist.


A false internet-based church dedicated to exposing a side of christianity most do not know.

Landover Baptist does not welcome those who are not saved


A fantastic parody site that pokes fun at ultra-conservative fundamentalistChristians.

Recent articles include "The Pope's Message From Hell" and "Inside the Sick Mind of George Lucas."

Hilarious, but also disturbing due to the fact that there are people out there who would probably wholeheartedly agree with the majority of the material on this site.

Francis bought a "Love Me or Burn!" Jesus button from the Landover Baptist Store.

See camry


A fundamentalist Shiite Baptist cult intent on converting every non-believer or hurrying them on to Hell.

You apostate Catholics, Christ-killing Jews, mark-of Cain Negroes and pagan Chinamen gathered here at Landover Baptist church will either put your hand on the KJ1611 Bible and accept HIM or we'll put your brains on it.


Ultra-Right wing fundamentalists protestants? Well, I can agree with you concerning the ones that think the Pope is Satan himself, that the New World Order is coming (The UN army isn't big enough to police the state of Connecticut for fuck's sake, how the hell are they going to take over the world?), and a whole bunch of other shit. Note, the Landover Baptist website is a fucking PARODY, and isn't representative of the MAJORITY of Protestants out there, just the obsessive loonies. We're tolerant of people of different ethnicities, we don't believe in bombing abortion clinics (those who do obviously aren't "pro-life") and we most certainly do NOT go out Goth-hunting. I know that the site is just satire, but this shit is starting to get out of hand. I'll have to create a liberal/atheist parody site to keep shit "fair and balanced."

Landover Baptist is somewhat ironic, considering that they run parody ads making fun of Bush, yet a lot of conservatives I talk to are pissed at Bush. The only people who are blindly devoted to him anymore are those hicks who have a seething hatred for us "Yankees," just because we kicked their rebellious asses back in line during the Civil War.


Random Words:

1. Being sideswiped with an unexpected comment or gesture, while you're already down. Being teshed has an emotional component to the ..
1. your fat friend jerks off with hot sauce and while busting a load hits himself in the eye and begins burning beacuse the hot sauce egan..
1. A phrase referring to a woman who can only attain an orgasm through clitoral stimulation and not through standard vaginal intercourse. ..