What is Laying Down The Carpet?
1.
The act of laying down, or placing a single or a double segment of toilet paper on the surface of the water in the toilet bowl, in order to stop or significantly reduce "splash backs" when relieving oneself.
"I felt the urge to take the biggest crap yesterday and I was afraid I might get some splash-back, so I laid down the carpet before I initiated. 60 percent of the time, it works.... EVERY TIME!"
"Laying down the carpet saved my ass from years of shitty water splashing my asshole."
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Someone who, on a regular basis or not, felates a donkey.
(kwoz-woggler)
Don't mess with that bitch, she's a total quaswoggl..
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an unearthy force that is summon by sacrificing strays souls..