What is La-z-boy Ferret Crunch?
1.
The #1 cause of premature death for ferrets.
THIS IS NOT A JOKE.
HUSBAND: Hey, honey, have you seen Freddy the ferret?
WIFE: No, sugar, I haven't.
HUSBAND: I've been looking for him for an hour -- I don't know where he could be. Oh, well, I guess I'll just sit down and watch some ESPN.
(Sits down, everything is fine. Then reclines -- SqueeKRUNCH! Very sadly, the La-Z-boy ferret crunch has taken another ferret life before it's time.)
HUSBAND: Oh my God! It's Freddy! Dear God...
OZZY: Don't let this happen to you.
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