Legalese

What is Legalese?


1.

The dialect that the "legal" profession uses to hoodwinkpeople into paying them a week's wage for an hour's work. See conflict of interest.

Attorneys use Legalese to be able to tell lies about regular people without the regular people being able to understand what's said about them.

2.

A way of talking or writing used mostly by lawyers and corporations, as a way to explain and elaborate every square inch of the matter at hand - creating an airtight verbal bubble that leaves no room for ambiguity.

This is done by writing as little as possible with as many words as possible, in such a way that Average Joe won't have a single clue what is presented to him, yet agrees to it because he couldn't care less about reading page up and page down with all that legal nonsense before he gets to use his new computer program.

Average Joe: "Your program destroyed by PC! I'm suing!"

Big corporation: "You can't. You consented to waive all your customer-, civil- and moral rights upon agreeing to our Terms of Use license before using the product."

Average Joe: "How was I supposed to know that?! It was 72 pages written in legalese!"

See law, legal, legalese, corporation, contract, lawsuit, defect


41

Random Words:

1. The proper way to refer to the Maloof brothers. Considering they would move the Sacramento Kings to Las Vegas in a heartbeat if they cou..
1. somebody who is a lazy ballsack. hence, lazy sac...made popular by jim gaffigan meg: can you go get me that? jack: no...its too far a..
1. A vacation to an overly trendy spot. Trent and I haven't decided where we're going on our bi-yearly fadigal...