What is Lesbiatitis?
1.
A mildly contagious viral infection typically transmitted via direct contact with a bleeding wound or mucous membrane. Though most prevalent in metropolitan areas, infections characteristic of the virus have been documented in numerous remote, wooded locations.
Side effects may develop in women of any age and include sexual activity with the same gender, reduced awareness of fashion, aggressive behavior, increased appetite and an inexplicable affinity for construction projects and Birkenstocks.
While the virus does not respond to traditional antiretroviral therapies, some individuals demonstrate a natural resistance to the infection and have been known to miraculously recover, as in the case of Anne Heche.
After losing most of her hair from lesbiatitis, Ellen is now sporting a mullet.
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