What is Let Me Get You A Straw?
An elaborated version of the sentiment is found in the phrasing: "Let me get you a straw so you can SUCK IT UP."
The proffering of a straw to aid "sucking up" abilities is generally considered more comical (read: obnoxious) than simply telling a whiner to deal.
Can be used in any situation.
*a minor chainsaw incident occurs*
Bob: Um, could you call 911 for me?
Frank: Do it yourself.
Bob: ...I don't have "hands" anymore.
Frank: How about this? I'll get you a straw so you can SUCK IT UP.