Lifeguard

Question

What is Lifeguard?

71

Accepted Answer

1.

The best job you could ever have. Its a wonderful job where you get to work outside, meet new people everyday, and gain valuable experience for later in life. Many people think that guards just sit around and work on their tans. Yes, that is true to some extent, but there is a lot more to lifeguarding than most people think. Guards have to clean the pool/bathrooms/surrounding areas, check chemicals, balance chemicals, write incident reports, perform pump/filter maintenance, clean skimmer baskets, etc.

Managers have even more duties. They must do the scheduling for one or more facilities, make sure that the guards actually show up to work, and in general make sure that everyone is doing their job and that everything is running smoothly. And managers get paid pretty well.

17 year old Manager: I love being a lifeguard. I just got a $1700 paycheck for two weeks of work. I think I'll go shopping after I finish this week's schedule and fire someone.

See lifeguard, guard, swimming, pool, swimming pool

2.

glorious beings who protect and serve the people of the pool. while sometimes mistaken for lazy for basking in the sunlight and getting tan, lifeguards maintain rigorous jobs - often times sacrificing themselves for the wellbeing of others.

a patron attacks lifeguard. lifeguard blocks away.

See lifeguard, pool, protector, save, warrior

3.

Someone who provides a reasonable standard of care for adults and children at an aquatic facility, who helps enforce pool rules and rescue swimmers in distress.

The lifeguard told that kid to stop splashing his friend.

See jimbo

4.

The sexual act of the man having an orgasm on the woman's nose and then spreading it around, like a lifeguard would wear sunscreen.

"I totally pulled the Lifeguard on this chick last night."

See lifeguard, banana boat, sex, nose, jizz

5.

When you cum onto a girls nose, and only her nose

Kevin: I totally gave a chick a lifeguard last night, it got clogged in her nose

Max: Nice

See cum, nose, life, guard

6.

Person at a party designated to remain sober and handle any activities the extreme state of intoxication of the other party guests render them unable to perform. Activities such as working the TV and/or DVD player, ordering drunk food, collecting car keys, cleaning up food/discarded clothing/spilled beer/vomit, preventing (or breaking up) fights, and talking to the police/security/neighbors .

A person whose job it is to facilitate a good time while at the same time preventing people from ending up in either jail or the hospital.

A secondary function of the lifeguard is to provide a supplement to facebook memoryby providing a coherent record of the events of the party to everyone else the following morning. Thus providing guests with a person to whom they can pose the question "What the fuck did I do last night?"

Nick: "Who's lifeguard tonight?"

Jay: "Greg's got it"

Nick: "I'm jonzingfor some fuckin' wings"

Jay: "dude, get the lifeguard to order some"

Nick: "What the fuck did I do last night?"

Lifeguard: "You tried to jump off the fucking balcony 'cause you thought you could fly"

See babysitter, designated driver, dd, watchdog, sober

7.

Person at a party designated to remain sober and handle any activities the extreme state of intoxication of the other party guests render them unable to perform. Activities such as working the TV and/or DVD player, ordering drunk food, collecting car keys, cleaning up food/discarded clothing/spilled beer/vomit, preventing (or breaking up) fights, and talking to the police/security/neighbors.