Literality

What is Literality?


1.

The quality or condition of being afflicted with a terminal inability to read-between-the-lines and only comprehend concepts and situations in a strict non-figurative sense.

She: “Hey sexy let’s go knock boots.”

He: “What do you mean?”

She: “Why don’tcha marinate the nether rod in the squish mitten…”

He: "You wanna what?"

She: “Wanna ‘Wham’ your ‘Oingo Boingo’ into my ‘Velvet Underground’?”

He: “Huh?”

She: “Come take the love luge on the inbound loin line”

He: “Pardon?”

She: “Tiptoe through my two lips…?”

He: “Ummm…I’m lost”

She: “Your literality drives me nuts...grab some imagination and gimme’ a clunge-plunge already!”

See unimaginative, finicky, clueless


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