What is Literary Masturbation?


1.

When someone quotes him or herself.

Yesterday, Brian put his own, apparently funny quote, on his AIM profile. There should be some decency law against literary masturbation like that.

2.

The act of using unnecessary elaborate speech to convey a simple point, or speaking in a tone that would make you seem like a pompous dipshit.

I recently attended the line at the food product facility, at which I purchased a deliciously decadent three cheese lasagna and a bottle of Spumante.

3.

A lot of so-called journalism today is literary masturbation where, instead of researching a subject and writing an informed and stimulating article, the writer has a wank-fest of verbal indulgence expressing their personal opinion. This is forgiveable in the very young who may be playing with language and style and have lived so shortly their lack of experience absolves them from such a waste of words. You have to make mistakes to learn. The real damage occurs when this behaviour lasts past college!

He's too lazy to engage with the subject so he just lays back and verbosely self-indulges - it's a shame, really, because he can string sentences together well; if only they had content....


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