Longwood University Edit Meaning

1.

Unlike Sweetbriar College and Hollins University students, these women look for more than just money in a "man". While the occasional Hampden-Sydney College student can find a freshman or two at Longwood so riddled with insecurities they might actually date them. Majority of Longwood University' female students stick to a higher standard.

The Infamous Paul Allen: "Darlin' your looking mighty lovely tonight and you know I'm the sexiest guy here, why don't we hook-up."

Longwood Girl: "No thanks, if I wanted an STD I'd just ask. (walks off)"

Paul: "How bout you sweetheart, you ready for some of this hot wang?"

Sweetbriar Girl: "Why not I'm totally wasted."

Narrator: Paul then pulls out his "hot wang" and the girl laughs her ass off and runs away hoping there are bigger and better options in the world than "Paul".

Paul: "Hey darlin' me and you can have sex and I won't tell anybody, after all you have to be my worthless trophy wife at some point in the future."

Hollins Girl: "Whatever you say, do you have a credit card or will you be paying for that with cash?"

Paul: "Damn I spent all my money trying to get the Longwood girls drunk."

Paul: "Hey Slye, how about you just lick my ass hole again and we can call it a night."

Sly: "Yes sir Mister Allen, W the President."

P.S. No one will vote for your immoral ass during presidential elections you slime ball.

2.

Lancers-87

Tigers-71

Hampden Sucks

Sydney Blows

and the HSC Gentleman is the one take in the ass all night long

Longwood University

See longwood, hampden, sydney, tigers

3.

Since everyone who has written a definintion thus far has decided to dedicate that definition to bashing Longwood or surrounding colleges, here are some actual FACTS (all obtained from the Longwood University website):

QUICK INFO

A public, coeducational University with over 100 majors, minors, and concentrations in the arts and sciences, business, and education. Graduate programs in business, education, English, sociology, and environmental studies.

Students

Longwood's 4,500 students (3,800 undergraduates) come from over 25 states and foreign countries.

35% male

11% minority

990 freshmen

Campus

Residential 60-acre campus. Approximately 70 percent of undergraduates live in university-sponsored housing. Mix of red-brick colonial revival in the style of Thomas Jefferson and contemporary architecture.

Class Size

The average class has 26 students. One-quarter of all classes have 10 or fewer students.

Students/faculty ratio: 19:1.

Full-time faculty with terminal degrees: 80%.

Retention Rate: approximately 80% of freshmen continue to sophomore year.

Graduation Rate: 60% (within 5 years).

Computer Resources

Fully networked campus. Full access to the Internet from all campus buildings and each residence hall room.

Other Facilities and Resources

Health and physical education complex with pool, dance studio, human performance lab and a 3,000-seat gymnasium; eight tennis courts; and a nine-hole golf course.

A Health and Fitness Center offers a rock climbing wall, track, courts and the newest weight machines.

Special Programs

Cooperative programs in engineering with the University of Virginia, Virginia Tech, Virginia Commonwealth University, Old Dominion University, Christopher Newport University, Georgia Institute of Technology, and the University of Tennessee.

A pre-professional program in the medical sciences prepares students for admission to schools of medicine, dentistry, veterinary medicine, medical technology, dental hygiene, physical therapy, occupational therapy, and pharmacy.

A World of Study Abroad Opportunities

Northern Territory University in Australia; University of Teeside in Middlesborough, England; University of Bond, Australia; University of Limerick, Ireland; School for International Training, Belize; Mary Immaculate College, Ireland; University College, London; Institute for American Studies, Avignon, France; University of Derby, England; Institute of Spanish Studies, Valencia, Spain; Anhui , Anhui, China.

GETTING IN

Admission decisions are competitive and based on your academic performance in high school, grade-point-average, types of courses, class standing, and SAT or ACT scores. The Admissions Committee will also review additional information you submit in support of your application. Primary emphasis, however, will be placed on your academic credentials. The AVERAGE GPA for freshmen entering in the fall of 2006 was a 3.3 and the SAT mid-range was between 1010-1200.

PROMINENT LONGWOOD ALUMS (from the past 25 years only)

Aimee Alexander, '01

Pharmaceutical Sales Representative for Abbott Laboratories

Erin Sims Anderson, '98

Senior Human Resource General Manager at the Virginia State Corporation Commission

Thomas DeWitt, '80

President and CEO of SNVC, L.C.

Ransford Doherty, '93

Actor (movies and tv-shows)

View his Filmography

Kimberly Sterling Green, '96

National Program Manager for Lighting and Fireplaces for Ferguson Enterprises

Faith Clamp Halterman, '97

Systems Engineer with BAE Systems

Harold Hatchett, '83

Vice President for Investor Relations North American for Shell Oil Company

J. Paul Hurt, '89

Agency Director for MetLife Financial Services

Blair Lockamy, '00

Human Performance Analyst for Accenture

Dr. Kenneth Marcus, '82

Professor of Chemistry at Clemson University

Ricky Otey, '89

Director of Consumer Banking for Wachovia and member of the Longwood University Board of Visitors

Col. Richard Jay Poole, '82

Cdr. of the 203rd Support Battalion

Arjun Rishi, '87

President of Enterprise Bleu

Gary Slack, '84

Senior Vice President - Finance and CFO for BAE Systems North America

Charles Thornton, '92, and Robert Kenny, '88

Co Owners of Hometown Heroes Sports Pub

John Todd, '83

Managing Partner and CEO of APEX Partners

Jill Younce, '00

Inspector with the U. S. Postal Service

$30,000/year? I think not.

There are some fact about Longwood. So Longwood isn't Princeton, ok? No one ever claimed it was. So we don't pay a billion dollars a year to go to school - that doesn't make us stupid or not academically driven. It means that everyone deserves an education and not everyones mommy and daddy can afford to shell out. You can get a good education at Longwood. But how much money you will make in the future is only a reflection of how hard you are willing to work to make that happen - not a reflection of Longwood. There are a million opprotunities here and some students are here to work hard and get a good education at an old and respected institution - not to "get wasssted!" or sleep with "Richie-Rich" HSC boys. As with any college or university, your Longwood experience is what you make it.

If you want more info about Longwood, go to: longwood.edu.

Wow, I am really glad I chose to go to Longwood University!

See farmville, longwood, hsc, education, university

4.

Longwood University is generally good school overall. There are many very nice people who go there, and many of them are very intellegient. Their professors often provide challenging and thought-provoking material in their classes, and many students work very hard to achieve good grades at Longwood. In fact, Longwood is probably the best place to be if you want to be a teacher. However, Longwood contains a huge inferiority complex concerning Hampden-Sydney. This complex is not necessarily an academic one shared by all students; rather, it is one harbored by a large number of the males who attend Longwood. Longwood men constantly struggle to assert their superiority to Hampden-Sydneymen, but every weekend scores of their Longwood women flock to Hampden-Sydney, leaving the men of Longwood confused and angry. Many Longwood men attempt to convince themselves that these are only naive young ladies, who are unaware of the dangers of the Hampden-Sydneymen, when in fact women from every class at Longwood continue to visit Hampden-Sydney. It seems that the men of Longwood are so inept that Longwood women are willing risk the dangers of Hamdpen-Sydney. Additionaly, while many of these visits have drinking and one-night stands as their primary goals, there are also many girls who do not participate in this lifestyle. They simply appreciate the company of the Hampden-Sydneyman. Though many, including many students at Hampden-Sydney, believe that the HSC man's trademark is the bowtie or pink polo shirt, the real trademark of a Hampden-Sydneyman is Southern Hospitality, something most Longwood men know nothing about.

Jeff: Man, those Hampden-Sydney guys sure are lame. They think they are so awesome with their brilliant professors and beautiful campus...

Matt: Yeah. They are lame. They go to an all male school; that means they must be gay or something, right Jim?

Jim: I didn't go there because I didn't get in.

Jeff and Matt: Me too.

See That guy

5.

Longwood University consist of a majority of women which attract perverted pink shirted pop collared fags from HSC. Females whom apply to Longwood have a prerequsit of not only mediocre academic standing but also an enormouse amount of brain deterioration from pot smoking, Birth Control, and an STD of some type. If you have these three things you should have no prroblem getting into Bongwood. Then theres the choice of going greek where you can go Alpha Sigma Alpha and be any-slut-anytime, or a down as chick that everyone likes like Alpha Gamms. Just remember when applying to Longwood that you are settling for $30,000 lifetime salary but and awsome college life.

Away messeges...

Alpha Gamm Kelly:whooops....

my alarm didn't go off:-

Alpha Gamm Michelle:Conceited slogans mean nothing, unless u have the letters to back them up.. enough said ;-)

Alpha Gamm Ali: Blunt ride after Psych at 1:15?

Alpha Sigma Alpha Ashley:I now know what its like to look at someone and smile for no reason:-)

Alpha Sigma Alpha Katie:WOW, it's gonna be a looooong day...class x2, lunch, class, quick nap, early dinner, ASA stuff for a while, and finally lip sync at 9pm in Jarman...everyone better be there! :-D

....wtf, need I say more?

6.

Longwood University - a place of poor heritage, where things were great until they went coed. When the sketch longwood guys showed up, things went to hell. They cling to a hope that they could one day be on a level with HSC, their crosstown rivals, but as their D1 basketball team loses to HSC's D3 team, they realize that there is no way that they will ever be equal to the miracle that is Sydney. In fact, they may even come to realize that they will never be equal to even Southside Community College.

So, Bongwood, keep your sketchy guys and your desperate women, and leave well enough alone, or HSC might come up Rt15 and kick your ass yet again.

LU Guy : I don't WANNA go to HSC... I might get HURT!

HSC Guy: Damn Straight. Keep your strange ass over with your strange friends and watch your hentai. I promise I'll give you a job some day.

LU Girl - Damn that boy is fine... I wish I could get a guy like that.

HSC Guy - In your dreams, gold-digger.